


From Ashes To The Inferno

by GlaucusPacificus



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: !!!, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula Joins the Gaang (Avatar), Because it's Ozai, Child Neglect, Dragons, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gaang (Avatar), Gaang (Avatar) as Family, Happy Azula (Avatar), Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Most of it is set half-way through her redemption, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Past Child Abuse, Set a few years post canon, Sokka and Azula bromance, Sort Of, Toph and Azula bromance, Ursa (Avatar) could have done better, i will NOT be following the comics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29094165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlaucusPacificus/pseuds/GlaucusPacificus
Summary: Dear Zuzu,A small child has arrived on my doorstep. She calls herself Kiyi and says that she was looking for adventure. I feel like she should be returned and stop bothering me.I’ll meet you on the north point of Kirifuri woods tomorrow at midnight and then you can take her back. She asks a lot of questions.Your sister,AzulaorWhere both Azula and Ozai are a little less forgiving (of each other).
Relationships: Azula & Iroh (Avatar), Azula & Kiyi (Avatar), Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & The Gaang (Avatar), Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 104
Kudos: 239





	1. An Ostrich-Horse Seems To Have Relieved Itself

Azula was in a lot of trouble. Actually, that was an understatement: she was in a fuckload of ostrich horse shit if she was going to use the language she had picked up from soldiers during her military service.

Trepidation was often the feeling that Azula most prominently experienced when facing her father, but this crippling, slithering, distressful dread that seemed to possess her whole body was something new. Ever since she was little, she always associated fear with her father - if she wasn’t perfect, then she would face his wrath. That was just how things worked. 

But this wasn’t a training slip-up or school-work that wasn’t absolutely perfect. This was a massive mistake that had very real consequences in the war. She had let the Avatar’s riffraff escape from her clutches, failed to kill Zuko and had failed to keep two of her closest friends - no, not friends… subordinates - under her control. 

They were traitors - all of them - and she knew it wasn’t her fault that they chose Zuko over her: it was theirs and they were the ones that were going to suffer for it. 

She conveniently forgot about the 2 piles of paper on her desk that were clearly their release forms from the Boiling Rock, just needing a signature. Deep down, something behind Azula’s walls that were as impenetrable as Ba Sing Se’s, was chanting the mantra ‘You deserved their betrayal’ and it was almost impossible to ignore. 

But she had to because of more pressing matters: Azula knew she was in danger - she was of course aware of the fact that being in her father’s favour was very conditional and now she had most likely lost any goodwill he might have harboured towards her. She was like Zuko now. Disposable.

“Princess?” One of the guards standing at the throne room doors spoke timidly.

“Yes?” she snapped in response, once again hiding behind her royal facade.

“The Firelord requests to speak with you, your highness.” His voice shook a little with apprehension at facing the feared Princess Azula. For some reason hearing that tremor didn’t bring her a feeling of pleasurable power as it normally did. It just twisted up her insides and tugged at her heart. Maybe it was just nerves from facing her father.

Azula nodded and the doors, decorated fittingly with dragons and fire, were slowly opened by the guards posted on either side. The creaking sound produced by the ancient hinges grated at her ears, intensifying the storm of emotions concealed deep inside of her.

Her soft-soled shoes made no noise as she strode with faux confidence down the carpet towards the throne, adding to her utter dread as the only sound she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears. Once she reached the blazing wall of fire, she bowed, head on the ground in a sign of submission and respect. 

“Rise, Azula,” the Firelord commanded from behind the aggressive flames. Azula remained on her knees but was no longer prostrate on the carpeted floor. She rose stiffly, though, as if her blood was beginning to freeze. “I gave you a simple task and you failed me. You have let your traitorous scum of a brother live. You had the audacity to allow high security prisoners to escape. And you have failed to properly control your subordinates. Do you think this is acceptable?” Ozai’s voice rose as he ranted threateningly at his daughter, even standing up from his grandiose throne in an attempt to intimidate her even more. 

Azula stood with her rock-hard mask of indifference still intact, although her eyes were beginning to water - it was because of her proximity to the glaring heat of course. She knew that if she answered she would be accused of insolence but if she didn’t give a response, her father would still criticise her for disrespect.

“Answer me!” he bellowed. Ozai’s layer of searing flames reacted to his volcanic temper, spewing sparks towards Azula in a volley of incandescent flaming arrows. She didn’t flinch.

“No, Honoured Father. I do not think that my failure is acceptable.” 

“It’s a shame, a true shame that my daughter turned out to be every bit as pathetic and weak as my son. I have given you multiple chances to prove yourself and you have let me down at every turn. I am disappointed in you.”

Ozai, already standing, stepped down from his elevated position on the platform where the ornate throne was situated and advanced menacingly towards Azula who was kneeling on the ground and feeling terror in her heart.

“You must be punished,” the Firelord declared, setting his hand alight in an almost casual manner. Azula could do nothing but accept her fate as it was brought up her face, so small compared to the large hand moving towards her. 

Her screams heralded her into the deep dark of nothingness.

***

The first time Azula tried to fight her way to consciousness was very unsuccessful: her eyelids tried to flutter open just for a moment but her attempt to awaken was immediately terminated by the arrival of crushing pain which quickly pulled her back to the depths.

The second time that Azula started to become aware of her surroundings, she was a little more alert. She could sense that this all-consuming pain was centered around her face before she even began to open her eyes. That was when her memories rushed back to her in a flood of recollection. Oh shit. Her face. One of her eyes flickered open but a shooting throb prevented the other one from doing the same. She could only see faint pinpricks of light and even that seemed a distance away. She heard a voice, although it sounded very far away and hands began to touch her. Azula began to panic and before she knew it, darkness enveloped her once again.

It was only with the third effort to awaken that she did so with any semblance of clarity. Once again, she tried to open both eyes but only one of them obeyed her body’s instruction. Her right eye appeared to be stuck and when she strained to lift her eyelid, a stabbing pain in that location was added to her overall agony. Through the eye she was actually able to open, she couldn’t really see anything except the few dots of light she had distinguished before.

Azula shifted slightly in response to the immense pain she was experiencing which grabbed the attention of whoever was in the room with her. Azula was more alert than she had been previously so wasn’t as agitated when she felt someone grasp her hand.

“Princess? It’s Dr Tokumei.” Azula recognised the voice at once. Dr Tokumei was the palace physician and had treated her frequently for fevers, training accidents, her father’s punishments, the list goes on. “Now if you can hear me, would you be able to squeeze my hand a little?” The scratchy and strangely soothing voice came from a man with the accent of the southern islands of the Fire Nation. Azula complied with his request and gave his large and calloused hand a gentle tug. “Thank you princess. You’ve been out for a few days so I'd like to get some proper food into you now you’ve woken up.”

Azula felt the man’s thin, wiry hands lift her up a little and the edge of a cup was placed against her mouth. Tepid miso soup was cautiously trickled into her mouth and she swallowed as much of it as she could before she started to cough. The cup was suddenly taken away from her lips and she was lowered softly back down. 

Now that Azula had woken up a little, she tenderly brought one of her hands up to her face but Dr Tokumei’s hand quickly grasped her forearm and kindly - but firmly - pulled it back down by her side. 

“You’ve got a lot of bandages on your face, princess, and it's not a good idea to touch it at the moment - there’s quite a lot of damage and we don’t want to make it worse now, do we?”

Azula was slightly rankled by his patronising tone but conceded that he probably knew more than she did about her injury. “How bad is it?” she asked in a hoarse whisper, being careful not to move her lips too much to avoid the bouts of pain that occurred with every facial movement, no matter how small or insignificant. She launched into a coughing fit directly after which sent a thousand miniscule knives to attack her face’s skin with every wheeze. The doctor held her up and rubbed her back calmly and waited until it had subsided before he replied.

“I know you’ll want honesty, princess, so I’m going to get straight to the point: it’s bad. Probably worse than your brother’s.” Azula flinched at the mention of Zuko. “It stretches across most of your face so you’re very strong to be conscious this early. As for your eyesight, your right eye… well it’s not there anymore.” Azula felt annoyed with that new bit of information: it would be inconvenient having to learn how to fight without suitable depth perception and peripheral vision. “And your fath- excuse me... the injury barely avoided the other one. The burn has also caused damage to part of your mouth which may affect food and liquid consumption for a while. I’m… I’m sorry, princess.”

“Fucking hell,” came the croaky reply. Azula let the reality of it sink on her - she was now on the same level as Zuko when it came to their father’s disapproval. She really was as expendable as her brother and her life was now in a lot of danger. Her slip-up was a lot more serious than just speaking out of turn so she was honestly surprised he didn’t kill her then and there. Father would probably just send her out on risker and riskier missions until she didn’t come home once he came back from defeating the avatar. If he came back. This whole maiming thing was just a charade really and if she died of infection, then who would possibly care? Azula decided that she had no future as a puppet for the Firelord any longer.

Dr Tokumei interrupted her train of thought with a chuckle, “Why don’t you get some sleep now, princess. You’ve still got a large chance of contracting an infection so you’ll need all your strength. It’s a wonder you haven’t died already.” 

Azula was pleased that Dr Tokumei had anticipated her intolerance for untruths and being more tactful than necessary when delivering news about the status of her health. Although it did almost make her laugh at the thought of the palace physician’s bedside manner when he was treating Zuko after his Agni Kai if what she had already experienced was anything to go by. It was with that last humorous thought that she sunk back into sleep.

The next time she woke up, it was because of a hand gently shaking her shoulder. She groaned a little as a new wave of torment washed over her and the hand let go.

“Hello princess. I’ve got to change your bandages now and I thought you might appreciate being awake for it - it will be more painful but I get the sense that you don’t care about that,” Dr Tokumei spoke in a way that was much more cheerful than the words he was actually saying. Azula was beginning to like him.

She grunted in response, her royal facade the last thing on her mind, and began to sit up with the help of the doctor. 

“Okay princess, here we go.” The doctor began to unravel the extensive bandages wrapped around Azula’s head. She began to see more and more light until the final layer was off and her single eye blinked, blinded by the sudden brightness. 

The doctor began to swim into view as her eyes grew accustomed to the light filtering in through the large windows on the east side of the room. He was a small, thin man, probably in his late 40s, with greying hair and glasses that almost fell off the end of his nose. His expression was kind with plenty of laugh lines around the outer corners of his mouth and eyes. 

The infirmary was fairly bright with light yellow walls and full of natural light which was in contrast to most Fire Nation decor. Usually rooms were small with orange light from lanterns and few windows which could be either intimate or intimidating depending on whether her father was in the room or not.

Her face felt as if it were still burning, the bandages coming off tore at the scabs and stuck to the fluid still oozing out of the charred skin. She didn’t react though. She was trained better than that.

Doctor Tokumei started to busy himself with preparing a bowl of water and a soft cloth. He knelt down at Azula’s side and started to gently wash her wound. It hurt. A lot. She gripped the bed sheets until her knuckles turned white, allowing herself no other physical reaction to the tortuous burning which made her face feel like it was still alight with fire. Once the doctor had finished, he got up and fetched some burn salve which he spread across her melted skin. 

Finally, he spoke, “How is your vision in your eye?” 

Azula began to speak but as she started to sound out her reply, she realised that the words she wanted to say would definitely tear the scabbing starting to form near her mouth.

Doctor Tokumei noticed this. “Forgive me, princess. Is your vision normal in that eye?” 

Azula could answer this and nodded in response, though it made her dizzy. Her vision was normal as it could be, she supposed. Colours seemed to overlap and a gaping darkness invaded one side of her vision. Everything was a blurry and she struggled to see how far away things were - her depth perception completely wiped away. But at least she could still see to some extent.

“That’s good,” he murmured. “I’m afraid I’ll have to cover your eye again - the burns are all around it and if these bits of skin get infected, it may end up spreading to the eye and then I’d have to remove that one as well.”

Azula nodded in response again as he started to wrap the bandages again. Soon, he had finished and let her go back to sleep again.

***

Dr Tokumei wasn’t often an angry man. He had been often told that he was blunt, awkward and rude but no-one had ever associated anger with him. But having a second child in his infirmary (only a few months older than the last one had been) with severe, life-threatening burns caused almost certainly by their father brought him the greatest amount of fury he had ever experienced.

A guard - Emiko, he remembered - had brought the princess in with a worried look plastered on her features and trembling hands. She placed the child on the nearest bed.

“She doesn’t look too good. You’ll need to be quick,” were Emiko’s only words before she turned and practically ran out of the room; probably because she was needed by the Firelord somewhere else.

The doctor quickly moved to where the small figure was placed and winced at what he saw. Her face was red and raw: a mess of blood and blisters that made even Tokumei’s strong stomach heave. 

He felt deja vu as he spent all night working to save one of the royal children from a grievous injury inflicted by… well everyone knew who did it, for the second time in 3 years. 

He wasn’t surprised by the guard’s reaction. He knew that Azula was well-feared in the palace but the general feeling towards the princess by the servants, staff and guards was one of sorrow. Most had worked at the palace for most of the Prince and Princess’ life and saw how they were treated - in fact they mourned for their lost childhoods. They saw how the pressure was turned up for Azula once Zuko was gone and how she was warped before their eyes. They just felt sad.

***

It had been 5 days since Azula had first come into the infirmary and she was getting antsy. It was now only 4 more days until Sozin’s comet and she needed to get out of there for good before either her father or brother returned in victory. 

But her face wasn’t anywhere near healed - her remaining eye was still smothered in wrappings which was more than inconvenient if there was an attack and she still wasn’t out of the danger zone with contracting an infection still a very real possibility. 

On the evening of the 5th day after her punishment, the doctor shuffled into the room to change her bandages.

“Doctor,” she mumbled, trying to avoid using her mouth as much as possible. “I’ve got to leave soon.”

Dr Tokumei blinked in surprise, then again in realisation. He understood. The princess needed to leave.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

***

The night before Sozin’s Comet, Azula shakily fled the palace, only seeing through a small sliver in the dressings wrapped tight around her head. She staggered from side to side, her lack of depth perception making trying to sneak out an impressive feat. Dr Tokumei had spent a good deal of time teaching her to clean and dress the wound herself and helping her practice walking in a straight line and picking up objects. Simple tasks that you wouldn’t even stop to think about had now suddenly become very difficult. 

Of course she wouldn’t be able to treat herself in a sterile environment once she left, but she decided that the possibility of death from infection was far better than waiting for her father to come back and immediately decide that she was disposable or for Zuko to come back and probably decide the same thing.

Azula slipped past the guards posted all around the palace walls, although she was clumsier than usual - getting used to only having one eye was harder than she had anticipated but she would adapt. She always did.

It felt as if someone else was controlling her body as Azula walked, a rucksack of essential items that Tokumei had packed slung on her back. She kept walking for hours and hours until Capital City was just a faint mass of blinking lanterns sprawled behind her. She knew she had to keep moving but her injury was taking its toll and soon she decided to stop for the night in a small copse of trees by the side of the road.

Everything hurt so much that it was difficult to distinguish between her emotional anguish and physical pain and this made sleeping very troublesome. Azula tossed and turned and struggled all night as nightmares plagued her and the burning sensation in her face failed to cease to allow her to rest.

The next few days were the same. Sozin's Comet came and went along with the news that the Avatar had won and the Fire Nation fleet had been destroyed but it didn’t affect Azula who was still walking. She didn’t want to go back to the Capital - she’d either be arrested on the spot or integrated into the new administration and she had honestly just had enough of the palace for a while. The (former?) princess didn’t want to admit it to herself but she didn’t want to have to face Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee - her inner conflict was taking its toll. So she just kept going.

Azula had a little money and stopped off at a village to resupply, ignoring the stares at the fact her whole face was wrapped in mud-stained bandages, her brain a muddle of thoughts about traitors, Firelords and Avatars. She hadn’t been feeling too well the last couple of days and hoped it was just the heat and not infection taking hold. 

Azula wasn’t fooling herself, however, and knew something was very wrong as she started to sway on her feet in the street. This suspicion was further confirmed when her traitor of a body decided to collapse on her. Typical.

***

Azula woke to someone coming and gently placing a towel on her forehead. She groaned involuntarily as the pain she had oh so missed during her unconsciousness came back with vigour. 

“There, there,” a mellow voice said soothingly. Azula opened her eye to a woman probably in her 30s leaning over her. She had dark amber eyes, bordering on the edge of brown and short black hair. “You’ve been out for a few days now. It was a nasty infection but you managed to fight it off.”

Azula coughed and started to sit up and the woman propped up a pillow behind her. “Where am I?” her hoarse voice managed to grate out.

“You’re in the house of Nagano Rice Farm. There isn’t a doctor nearby so Akio, who saw you pass out, took you here. We have the best healing herbs around these parts.” 

“Why would you help me? You don’t even know my name?” Azula croaked.

The woman raised an eyebrow. “The world hasn’t been kind to you, has it, child?”

“How could you ever have known?” Azula said, sharp sarcasm filling her voice.

The kindly woman ignored the acerbity and continued. “Well I helped you because it’s the kind thing to do. Why wouldn’t I help you?”

_‘Because I’m a monster. Because I don’t need help. Because I deserve to be betrayed,’ Azula thought but prevented herself from speaking out loud. She just shrugged and the kindly woman smiled reassuringly and left to get the patient some food._

Azula left that night, still weak from illness but with some new experiences to mull over. That woman had helped her without any expectation of anything in return. They didn’t even know each other’s names and the woman still treated the snarky and grumpy girl that had been dumped on her with nothing but warmth and goodwill. Azula was just about to slip out of the window when she stopped and turned around. 

She made her way to the table in the middle of the small room in the dusty farm house and took a couple of gold pieces out of her bag. She placed them carefully on the table and turned to go when she had another thought and took a pencil and a scrap of paper. She quickly scribbled a couple of words before escaping out of the window.

The note said ‘Thank you’.


	2. A Bubble Is Burst (Azula's Not Happy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula receives a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of an info dump at the beginning here. I'm sorry.
> 
> There's also a little bit of implied self-harm but it is very, very implied.

_4 years later_

Azula was now 18 years old and seemed to be in a very odd state of emotional limbo. She wasn’t overjoyed with life but it was hard for her to imagine that many really were as happy as all that. She also wasn’t completely sad, or at least she didn’t think so. It was just hollow emptiness rather than proper sorrow. There wasn’t really any reason to be as melancholy as she sometimes felt but the bad days still came where she was barely able to pull herself out from bed because she felt as if she were drowning in thoughts. It was better than the constant fear, pressure and exhaustion that was the basis of her existence when her father was still Firelord. It was certainly a change but not necessarily an unpleasant one.

After her first infection, she was stricken with two more before the burn was pretty much healed. It was a miracle that she had survived at all but the universe would have to try harder than that to kill her. 

It was just after she was recovering from her final infection that the nation received news that Lady Ursa had returned to the palace along with a new husband and daughter. It was safe to say that Azula didn’t take it very well and a few patches of burnt down forest and some scars on her wrist were proof of that. 

In the 4 years away from the palace, Azula came to terms with her burn but that didn’t mean that she didn’t loathe it. It had mutilated her face and ruined her eyesight but it did have some uses: when the war had just ended, wanted posters were popping up everywhere with her face splashed across it. It was apparent that no-one had told her dear brother that she had also undergone their family ritual of Ozai seeing how flammable his children were and so the permanent disfigurement actually came in handy as a good disguise. There must have been a large turnover of staff at the palace or nobody thought that Azula’s stint in the infirmary was pertinent information for the busy Firelord because there wasn’t even any mention of the fact that she might be scarred. The wanted posters disappeared after a year or so, however, and Azula’s existence soon faded away from the general public’s awareness. 

After three years spent travelling around the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, picking up her trades in glassblowing and sumi-e (black ink painting), the former princess settled in a small coastal town called Uryu which was situated about 10 miles away from Capital City. She supplied the town with her blown glass vases and ornaments and her exquisite paintings in which the subject drew on her experiences on her travels, making her artwork unique to the area. 

She had tried glassblowing when she was wandering around one of the northern islands and it suited her perfectionist personality and her skill with manipulating heat. Although she presented herself as a non-bender and used the hot furnace set up in her small home/shop when people were watching, she could still control the heat, its intensity and its direction more precisely than a non-bender would be able to. It struck a chord with her the first time she watched someone create a beautiful vase with glass blowing - it was the first time she had seen fire create, not destroy and she vowed at that moment that she would perfect the craft. 

Sumi-e on the other hand was something that she was forced to do at the Fire Nation Academy for Girls. She was always rather good at it as it was very compatible with her perfectionism like the glassblowing was and she found it strangely relaxing. Ozai had forced her to stop practicing the art. If there was time for art, then there was time for training in his eyes but the painting wasn’t entirely useless as it supplemented her income which was enough to switch off the sound of Ozai’s voice in her head. Well, mostly.

She wasn’t rich by any means - the Fire Nation had taken a slight economic downturn after the end of the war and a lot of people didn’t want to spend their income on frivolous decoration but she scraped by and was able to afford a house/shop that was near some woods where she could train in her fire bending. 

Azula only trained her firebending at night in the woods as it allowed her freedom to use her blue fire without worrying that someone was going to recognise Azula, only living master of the blue flame. Any locals who did see her fire didn’t get too near, convinced that the flames were onibi which were legendary ghost lights that haunted the woods. She leaned into this myth and was therefore free as possible to work on new techniques - ones she needed to improve and ones inspired by different bending styles she had seen around the world. 

Azula felt better than she had for a long time (which wasn’t saying much), having made progress in coming to terms with a lot of her past in her 4 years away and a good deal of infection-induced fever dreams which allowed her to start to overcome her inner conflict. However with little human interaction and years worth of bottled up emotions came some deterioration in her mental health. Perhaps that’s the wrong way to put it, though - it’s more like now that she doesn’t have her father increasing the pressure that somehow kept her from falling apart, the cracks in her mind were becoming more obvious. This didn’t really matter to Azula, however, as she was trying to live free from her father’s influence and if that meant more panic attacks than was normal, then so be it.

Her life was as normal as a scarred 18 year old former Fire Nation princess’ life could be until one day on an unseasonably chilly spring afternoon, a knock sounded at the door and burst her fragile bubble of peace and quiet.

Azula strode through her modestly sized minka to answer the door in a huff since it was an hour after closing. She fumbled with the door handle a little and opened the door harshly, expecting to find some witless customer standing outside but instead she saw a small child. The child had the characteristic Fire Nation black hair and amber eyes but something about her seemed vaguely familiar.

“How can I help you?” she said in her typical brusque fashion.

The child gazed up at her with big, innocent eyes and seemed surprised when she saw Azula’s face. This was strange as Azula most often experienced fear from young children when they saw her face for the first time - the burns were quite extensive and deformed her face to a large extent so it was understandable.

The worst part of the scar was in the shape of a handprint with less severe scar tissue surrounding it in pink rather than red. The handprint covered almost the entirety of the right side of her face, including the eye that wasn’t there anymore and ran across part of her upper lip, causing it to be twisted and raised so that closing her mouth fully wasn’t as easy as it once had been. The imprint of Ozai’s hand travelled across her nose and barely avoided her other eye, just scraping the lobe of her left ear but not enough to cause any real impairment to her hearing. So fear was an emotion she saw in children who didn’t know any better but the surprise in this child was unfamiliar.

“Hello,” the little girl spoke with more confidence than Azula would have expected. “My name’s Kiyi. Are you Azula?” 

A shiver ran down Azula’s spine as shock seized her. She took a deep breath and replied in her characteristic calm confidence. “Don’t say that name out here. You’d better come in.”

Azula was trying to remember why the name of this Kiyi girl sounded so familiar as she let her slip through the door of her minka when the child in question supplied the answer herself. “I’m your sister - well, technically half sister but you know, same difference.” Azula could see no dishonesty in her eyes and her heart clenched painfully at the reveal but she kept her cool.

“How did you find me?” she said, muscles tensed as if she were about to pounce or flee like a wild animal.

“Well it was a bit of a coincidence. You see, I was doing some homework on spirits and I chose to study Onibi. I looked at some reports in the library and realised that the onibi around here were different and then remembered the only person in the world who can create blue fire. When I ran away I came here and asked around until here I am! It was honestly a bit of a gamble.”

“You seem to have Zuko’s talent for finding things,” Azula said drily. “Why did you run away?”

“I was bored and no-one was letting me do anything exciting so I decided to go on my own adventure.”

“Of course you did.” Azula rolled her eyes. “How old are you?” 

“I’m almost 11.”

Azula started to weigh up her options. She didn’t want to send a small child to walk ten miles back to the capital on their own so that was out of the question. Also Kiyi knew where she lived now so she was sure she wouldn’t remain hidden for long if she wasn’t at least civil to the small child. Azula decided that she would have to send a letter to the palace and someone would have to collect the little girl. They couldn’t possibly arrest her - they wouldn’t be able to charge her with anything that happened 4 years ago when she was still a child and it was a war, afterall, so this was the best way to go. Kiyi may tell their brother where she lives but she was sure she could persuade the little girl not to spill any of her secrets.

“Okay, runt. I’m going to write our dear brother a letter and then you’re going to sit quietly while I do some work.”

Kiyi let out a small huff but nodded her head. Azula made her way through the house and got a piece of paper and some ink. She sat down at a table and began to write a letter:

Dear Zuzu,

A small child has arrived on my doorstep. She calls herself Kiyi and says that she was looking for adventure. I feel like she should be returned and stop bothering me.

I’ll meet you on the north point of Kirifuri woods tomorrow at midnight and then you can take her back. She asks a lot of questions.

Your sister,  
Azula

Azula walked down to the nearest place that would supply her with a hawk and made sure to address it to Zuzu before sending it off to the palace.

When she returned to her minka, Kiyi was wandering about, looking through all of her belongings.

“It’s very tidy in here - are you a neat freak? That’s what Katara calls Sokka.” 

“Would it kill you to be quiet?” Azula snapped, not having the faintest clue who this ‘Katara’ and ‘Sokka’ were.

“You’ve asked some questions and now I want to ask some back. It’s only fair.” Kiyi gave a glare that would be quite impressive had it not been on a 10 year old.

Azula could tell that she wouldn’t win this argument. 10 year olds have an impressive amount of resolve when it comes to such things. “No, I’m not a ‘neat freak’. I just like things to be their proper place.

“That sounds like being a neat freak to me,” Kiyi said in a sing-song voice. Azula gave an exasperated sigh. “Anyway, there’s one thing that I’d like to ask. Why haven’t the pictures of you at the palace got a burn on them?”

“Because no-one at the palace knows what I look like now,” Azula said curtly.

“How did you get it?” Kiyi asked, not to be dissuaded by her sister’s grumpiness.

“I assume you’re familiar with how Zuzu got his?”

“Yeah...”

“Well something similar happened to me.”

“Oh.” Kiyi said with sympathy in her eyes. Azula bristled under the gaze of pity from a 10 year old. Azula felt the sudden urge to keep her hands busy so she got up and went to the kitchen, Kiyi trailing behind her. Azula started to make tea. “Can I have some?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not very talkative, are you?”

“No, I’m not.” 

“What tea are we having?”

“Kuding.” Azula finished brewing the tea and handed a cup to Kiyi. She then went to the room at the back to start her work for the day with Kiyi following close behind.

“What are you doing now?” she questioned, her voice already giving Azula a headache.

“I’m going to start working.”

“What do you do?”

“I paint and blow glass.”

“Can I watch?”

“Would I be able to stop you?” Azula replied with a huff.

“Probably not.” Kiyi had a shit-eating grin on her face. Azula wasn’t sure how they could possibly be related.

Kiyi watched as Azula painted all through the morning with black ink. She was fixated on her piece, adding dabs and smooth lines of ink with more concentration than Kiyi thought possible. 

Eventually Kiyi’s stomach started to rumble and she thought that Azula may be more receptive to talking now that she had been given a break from her endless torrent of questions.

“Azula?”

“What is it?”

“I’m hungry,” Kiyi whined.

“There’s food in the kitchen. Help yourself,” came the short reply.

“What about you?” 

“I’m working.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“How is that any concern of yours?”

“You shouldn’t skip meals. It’s bad for you. That’s what Dad says to Zuko,” Kiyi said with a finality that sounded bizarre coming from such a small child.

“Will you stop asking questions if I come and have some food with you?”

“No, but once we’ve done, I won’t bother you while you’re working.” Azula could tell she wouldn’t get any further in these negotiations and reluctantly accepted her younger sister’s terms. 

Once she was in the kitchen, Azula started to heat up some vegetable dumplings that she had fetched from one of the shops in town just the other day.

“You know, they don’t talk about you much at the palace,” Kiyi said to fill one of the awkward silence, though it didn’t seem to bother Azula. 

“That’s not very surprising. I have been gone for 4 years.”

“You don’t seem evil,” Kiyi said thoughtfully.

“Is that what they think of me?” Azula couldn't muster up the moral righteousness or energy to be outraged - she thought she probably deserved that label to some extent.

“Not really... Aang and the rest of Zuko’s friends used to but now they’re just indifferent I think. Mai is convinced that you’re dead. She says that you wouldn’t be able to bear living in hiding for this long but she always looks sad when she says that and that’s saying something because you can never tell what she’s thinking. Ty Lee looks like she’s about to cry whenever you’re mentioned. Zuko always looks like he’s about to do a poo when someone says your name which Uncle Iroh says means he’s conflicted. And Mum-”

“Don’t talk about her,” Azula suddenly interrupted with a little more volume than necessary. Her voice sounded strained with pain. She realised that her hands were clenched so tight that her knuckles were white and her nails dug into her palm causing pinpricks of blood to spring up.

“Okay,” Kiyi said slowly, sounding confused and a little worried at why the mention of their mother should cause such a big reaction.

Azula quickly changed the subject. “So, let me get this straight. You came looking for your long lost sister on a whim that probably wouldn’t have even panned out and most of what you have heard of me was about me doing bad things,” Azula sighed dramatically. Kiyi nodded. “You have self-preservation instincts comparable to Zuko’s.”

“That sounds like an insult.”

“That’s because it is.”

The conversation lulled and before Kiyi knew it, Azula had taken her empty plate, placed it on the side with her own, and had returned back to her painting.

After a couple more hours of this, Azula stopped her painting and looked at it with a satisfied smile. 

“Are you done?” Kiyi said hopefully. Azula nodded. “Can I see?” Azula beckoned her over and Kiyi gasped at the beautiful scene that her sister had created. It looked to be of one of the Air Temples with the black ink and white space used to create an alluring but haunting painting.

“That’s amazing, Azula!”

Azula looked at her in surprise but just replied “It’s a commission for some rich Fire Nation family’s bedroom or something.”

“I’m sure they’ll be pleased with it.” Azula just nodded absent mindedly in response.

Azula went and sat on one of the kitchen chairs and picked up a scroll that had been nearby. Kiyi went and sat down next to her. 

“What are you reading?” 

Azula gave a sigh that would rival one of Mai’s. “It’s about the construction of the Dai Li during Avatar Kyoshi’s era.”

“Didn’t you use the Dai Li to take over Ba Sing Se?”

“Yes, I did.”

“... Can you tell me about it?” Kiyi saw Azula’s unamused face and so added, “Please?” with polar bear puppy-dog eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Azula muttered under her breath. “If it will get you to stop talking, fine.”

Azula spent about an hour telling the full, unabridged tale of the Coup of Ba Sing Se which Kiyi very much enjoyed. Azula didn’t simplify things or skip out some of the more complicated or unsavory parts and explained things to her when she didn’t understand in a way which made her feel like an equal, not a stupid child.

At the end of her story, Kiyi had a lot of respect for her big sister who seemed relatively casual about the whole affair. They sat in silence for a while before Azula, surprisingly, was the one to break it.

“Are you a firebender?”

“Yes, though I’m not sure I’m any good.”

“At night I go and train in the forest. Would you like to join me? That way, I can keep an eye on you.”

“Really?”

Azula rolled her eyes, “No, I’m just saying that for absolutely no reason whatsoever,” she snapped sarcastically. “Of course I meant it.”

“Thank you, Azula!”


	3. How Many Brain Cells Can Be Lost In 4 Years?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many brain cells can be lost in 4 years? The answer is more than you might think.

When dusk started to fall, the sun just dipping below the horizon, Azula and Kiyi began to make their way towards a clearing in the woods that was Azula’s normal training ground. It took about half an hour to walk there which tired Kiyi out, considering her sizable trek from the palace but she wanted to be trained by Azula so did her best to ignore her fatigue.

“Why are we doing this at night? Aren’t Firebenders the strongest during the day?”

“Yes, we are, but training at night means that you have to connect to your inner flame more which will give you more confidence during the day. It’s also good for my onibi cover.”

Azula started by going through some simple katas without fire, motioning for Kiyi to join her. “Always warm up by going through katas without fire, and very slowly so your muscles and chi become accustomed to the exercise. Of course, you wouldn’t be able to do this in a surprise attack but it’s helpful to clear your mind for training.”

“This is like what Katara does,” Kiyi commented.

“Who’s Katara?” Azula asked.

“You don’t know who Katara is? She’s the waterbender in the Avatar’s team during the war. How do you not know who she is?”

“We didn’t stop to introduce ourselves when we were trying to kill each other,” Azula said with derision. 

“She knew who you were,” Kiyi pointed out.

“Well that’s because I’ve got style and charisma and they don’t,” Azula retorted and Kiyi giggled (mainly at the fact that Azula was one of the least charismatic people she had ever met and she had met Minister Dampa). “What is the most advanced move you can perform consistently?” Azula asked once Kiyi’s giggles had subsided. 

“I can almost do a mawashi geri,” Kiyi replied tentatively. “Shall I do one now?”

Azula nodded her head. She, of course, was much more advanced at that age but a well-executed roundhouse kick was good enough when it came to most bandits and lowest ranking soldiers so if Kiyi could perfect this, then they would have achieved something that night.

Kiyi performed her move and Azula nodded. “It isn’t awful, I suppose.” Azula broke the kick down into steps and made Kiyi do each step again and again until she had it down. Then Kiyi practised performing it all together and in the end, her flames were much stronger and the kick more precise by the time she had completely worn herself out. Azula was a surprisingly good teacher, too: she was firm and strict but not overly mean which Kiyi appreciated.

“I’m going to train now. Sit down under that tree while I do it or you’ll get in the way,” Azula ordered Kiyi who was drinking out of the bottle that Azula had brought with them.

Kiyi was absolutely captivated by Azula’s bending. It seemed a completely foriegn art to the fire bending she saw at home, even when watching the Avatar and Zuko sparring. She could see some moves that seemed a little like the ones that Toph and Katara used and even one that looked very much like an airbending move that Aang had shown her. Her moves were powerful and driven and were absolutely captivating to watch. The blue fire was incredible as well - sapphire flames flew through the air with grace and majesty but also with such intensity that it was as terrifying as it was beautiful.

Azula had taken a lot of training to get to where she was now. Having only one eye hindered her way more than she thought it would and she went through many months of frustration and self-loathing when her aim was off or she stumbled or she got paranoid that someone was in her blind spot. But Azula doesn’t give up. Ever. She persevered and had developed new techniques that made up for her disability. She felt more connected to her inner fire than ever before and could feel Agni, even at night. Her hearing had improved and although there would always be gaps in her sight that potential enemies could exploit, the princess would never let them have the chance. Azula was an even more formidable foe now than during the war… which was a little concerning… 

Azula finally finished and drank her share of the water before striding off, gesturing for Kiyi to catch up. “Wow, Azula. I’ve never seen bending like it!” Kiyi exclaimed. Azula just glanced at her occasionally as Kiyi proceeded to ramble to herself excitedly all the way back to Azula’s home.

***

The next day had pretty much the same routine. Azula woke Kiyi up and gave her some food, then painted all morning and for part of the afternoon before trying to read a book - this one was about thermodynamics which Kiyi was sure was absolutely riveting (not) - but Kiyi managed to annoy her into telling another story. This time it was about the history of Chin the Conqueror which was a historical figure that Azula held much disdain for, it turned out. 

When dusk fell, they both went up back to the woods and practised the kick from the other night. Azula also introduced Kiyi to the basics of a couple of new katas which she found very fun to try. 

Azula trained for much longer than she had the other night and Kiyi fell asleep under the tree, too tired to even stay awake to see the spectacular sight of her sister’s bending. 

Eventually Kiyi was woken up by Azula roughly shaking her shoulder. “We’ve got to meet whoever has come to collect you. Come on.” 

Kiyi blearily stumbled to her feet and followed the eerie blue flame through the darkness. 

They walked for about 20 minutes until Azula abruptly stopped and sat down cross legged with Kiyi following suit. Only a couple of minute passes because the familiar woosh of a flying bison could be heard and Azula pulled her hood over her head. 

Appa landed with a grunt and three figures hopped out and moved quickly towards the blue flame that Azula was holding lightly in her hand.

“Azula! Give Kiyi back!” a Water Tribe boy shouted at her. Azula vaguely remembered him as the one with the boomerang. “We will use force if we have to and you’re outnumbered!” 

“Since when has that stopped me? And you’re welcome to have her anyway. She is far too talkative to leave me in peace,” Azula said as the Water Tribe girl beckoned Kiyi towards her. The last figure was the familiar bald-headed avatar that Azula had once hunted so furiously for. She couldn’t even find the energy to hate him after all this time. “Has Zuzu not even come himself?” Azula said in mock disappointment. “I feel so slighted.” 

“Why did you take her if you were just going to give her back? What are your demands?” the Avatar shouted angrily, his voice cracking a little in all of it’s 16 year old glory.

“Azula didn’t take me! I found her by myself thank you very much,” Kiyi said indignantly.

“What?” The water tribe girl said incredulously. “Did she tell you to say that?”

“No! I wanted an adventure and so I had one. I am perfectly capable of finding people on my own! I am 10 years old after all - I’m not a baby!” That outburst was met with four skeptical glances but Kiyi didn’t seem to notice.

Azula rolled her eyes. “I swear I explained this in my letter to Zuko. Does he lack basic reading comprehension now?”

All three of the new arrivals all looked at each other hesitantly. “We still have to take you back to the palace,” the Water Tribe boy declared finally.

“Why?” Azula asked from under her hood, wondering what on earth he was going to come up with.

“Because… you need to be tried and sentenced?” he finished lamely.

“On what charges?” 

“... War...crimes?” 

“So we’re in the habit of actually arresting war criminals now, are we? Zuzu still has Minister Hakuro on his council and he was heavily involved in the Southern Water Tribe raids. Minister Tanaka was almost solely responsible for the prison camps in the Earth Kingdom - he’s now one of the most prominent members of the delegation often sent to Omashu. And of course there’s dear old Uncle Iroh who waged a 600 day siege on Ba Sing Se and has been directly and indirectly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and yet he’s Zuko’s fondest family member. There are many more ministers who have done questionable things but I don’t see anyone arresting them. And I most certainly haven’t committed any war crimes in the first place.There is a difference between an act of war and a war crime but I wouldn’t expect you imbeciles to understand. It has been four years. Can’t you just leave me alone?” 

They all looked at each other again, seemingly communicating with pointed glares and worried glances. Finally they seemed to come to a decision and the Avatar turned to her. “What if you just come back to the palace with us but not as our prisoner,” he said finally. “I don’t think Zuko would be very happy if we just let you go.”

Azula considered it for a moment. Now that they knew she was alive and fairly close to the capital, posters would be popping up with her face on again, she may have to move and that would be so inconvenient. The Avatar didn’t seem like the type to go back on his word so there wasn’t any danger that she would be arrested once she returned to the palace. Or at least she didn’t think so. It would be better to just get it over with and humour them just this once. Azula prayed to Agni that she wasn’t making a mistake.

“I didn’t realise that the Avatar was at the beck and call of the Firelord. Whatever will the Earth Kingdom think? But yes, I will go with you on the condition that there will be no threat to my freedom. This option involves expending the least energy and I think that would be ideal for all of us.”

The Avatar and his posse all looked surprised at this but were still on guard as Azula approached and lowered her hood. Once her hood was lowered, however, they all lost any sense of dignity.

“Your face!” the obnoxious water tribe boy shouted. Azula couldn’t help but recoil a little at his words. She was very self conscious of her scar considering its prominence and the traumatising cause of it. Burn scars were fairly common in the Fire Nation but ones as bad as hers, especially considering the fact she was still a teenager, were quite rare. It was enough to have to live with curious stares and disgusted looks but to have someone react so viscerally made her let her guard down momentarily and her facade cracked.

The Water Tribe girl seemed the most perceptive and looked at Azula with a softer expression, though her eyes kept some of the steeliness that the princess had been met with earlier. “What happened,” she asked in a soft tone.

“Have you all lost brain cells in the last 4 years. I presume you are well acquainted with the tale of how my brother earnt his scar? How hard can it be for even you idiots to connect the dots?” Azula snapped, carefully avoiding eye contact. “Can we get going now?”

“Err yeah, I suppose,” the Avatar stumbled on his words, shocked at the burn marring Azula’s face and the implications of her words.

They all hopped back on the bison, the Avatar helping Kiyi clamber onto the massive beast. The ride back to the palace started off very awkward. That was until Kiyi broke the silence. “Azula taught me how to do a proper mawashi geri. Can I show you when we get home?” Kiyi asked the Water Tribe girl who was busy alternating between glaring at Azula and then looking at her with sympathy. 

“You taught her?” Katara asked, apparently shocked at this revelation. Azula only nodded in response, knowing that Kiyi would tell them all about it without her ever needing to speak. Thank Agni it was only a few minutes until Kiyi fell asleep.

They had barely travelled 10 minutes more before the Avatar started to drop off to sleep. It was only a 10 mile journey from Uryu to the outskirts of the capital but apparently he couldn’t hold on that long. Azula, of course, thought that it was pathetic, especially as the Water Tribe siblings humoured him and agreed that they should stop for sleep. 

The Water Tribe boy jumped off first so that the girl could hand the sleeping child down to him without her waking up. The water bender came next, then Azula, then the Avatar who looked exhausted. 

The Avatar dropped to sleep straight away underneath a woolly blanket that had been stored in Appa’s saddle while Katara and Sokka set up camp.

“Make yourself useful and light a fire,” the boy said stiffly. Azula did so, ignoring the siblings' flinch as she sent a small ball of fire into the branches and twigs that she had collected, letting go of the connection between the fire and her inner flame until it slowly became red.

After Azula completed this task, the girl sat herself down next to Azula without warning and took out her waterskin.

“What are you doing?” asked Azula tersely, knowing how dangerous the waterbender could be.

“I’m going to have a go at seeing how bad your face is,” was the clipped response.

“You’ve got eyes, haven’t you?” Azula said, not showing her wariness of the waterbender using water near her.

“I want to see how blocked the blood flow is. It’s for my research into how to heal burns with minimal scarring,” the waterbender explained reluctantly. 

“Well that would have been helpful a while ago when there was a war on,” Azula muttered sarcastically. 

The water bender glared at her but continued with whatever she was doing. The glowing water was brought up close to her face and Azula tried not to flinch. The sensation of the water on the scar tissue was strange but relaxing and before she knew it, the girl was done.

“What’s your name?” Azula asked curiously. She knew that Kiyi had told her the waterbender’s name only a day ago but had mostly been tuning out the girl when she babbled so it felt fitting to ask again.

“Your brother didn’t know our names either when he joined us,” she said with a small smile that could either be teasing or threatening - Azula couldn’t see in the fire light. “I’m Katara.”

“And I’m Sokka,” the boy said loudly from across the campfire. “And that’s Aang,” he continued, pointing at the campfire. Azula had known the avatar’s name now that it was splashed everywhere in various Fire Nation propaganda efforts but it was useful to know the others’ names as well.

There was an awkward silence until Katara and Sokka both dropped to sleep (by accident, Azula assumed, since the sensible thing to do would be to set up a watch to make sure she didn’t run off or burn them alive in the night) and Azula was the only one left awake. 

Azula considered leaving and returning to her home but knew that they would definitely get Kiyi to tell them where she lived so it was best to go along with all this just to avoid even more fuss later on. She did wonder if she was making a mistake, though. Her mother would be at the palace and she wasn’t sure what her reaction would be to seeing the woman who had caused her so much pain. 

Kiyi had been a painful reminder of the fact that she had been replaced by the mother who didn’t love her, who made sure that Azula’s only other option to receive any form of validation was Ozai. Azula could only react to his name with pure disgust now and it was Ursa who had abandoned her, leaving him to mold her into his perfect little weapon until she was cast aside, no longer needed.

Azula could only sleep for an hour or two because of all of these thoughts churning in her mind, plaguing her dreams.

When Sokka and Katara woke up the next morning, they were surprised to see that Azula was still there. They had been too sleepy to set up a watch to make sure she didn’t run away so it was a pleasant sight to see Azula sitting by the campfire with her knees drawn up to her chin, obviously deep in thought.

“Can you pack up the blankets?” Katara asked, disturbing Azula from her thoughts. Azula didn’t say anything in return but started to pack them up anyway.

Aang had woken up Kiyi and then they were ready to go. Things were less awkward on Appa now that Kiyi was awake again and talking up a storm.

“Azula told me stories when she was looking after me,” Kiyi commented casually as if she hadn’t ran away to her long lost sister who no-one was even sure if she was still alive. “Her stories are very good but I don’t know how because the books she reads are sooo boring.”

“You’re 10. You find a lot of things boring,” Azula said in her usual brusque fashion.

“It was on thermo-somethings. I think lots of people find that boring.”

Sokka suddenly perked up. “Is this the new book by Sugita?” Azula nodded her head so Sokka continued, “That’s not boring! It actually raised quite a few questions. Have you read his other book?”

This broke Azula’s stony silence and the rest of the way back was mostly Sokka and Azula talking about thermodynamics, much to Katara and Kiyi’s chagrin and Aang’s confusion. Azula found it strange that Sokka was talking to her in such a friendly and animated manner considering the number of times that they had tried to kill each other but she was willing to admit that although the Water Tribe warrior was a buffoon, he wasn’t an idiot (yes, there is a difference).

When they arrived back at the palace, Azula went abruptly silent and no-one had the wish to interfere with whatever was going on inside her head, mostly because of the faintly murderous glint in her eye. Appa slowly descended and they were met with Zuko, in his full Firelord regalia, surrounded by a garrison of guards. The passengers disembarked and Kiyi ran straight for Zuko. “Zuzu!” she shouted as her older brother bundled her up in his arms. Sokka snorted as Zuko looked up and glared at Azula for a moment and then was taken aback in bewilderment and shock.

“Now where could she have possibly learnt that?” Azula said with a lopsided grin, caused by her burn, plastered on her face.

“Azula! Your face! What happened?” 

“Agni, give me strength,” she rolled her eye. “It is in the very clear shape of a handprint. I think that even you can deduce what happened.”

“But- but you were his favourite! Why would he have done that?” Zuko looked genuinely flabbergasted.

“The reason doesn’t doesn’t matter. Now what I do want to know is why you sent your goons to get Kiyi and why they were under the impression that I had kidnapped the runt?”

“Who are you calling goons?” Katara exclaimed. “And yes, Zuko, although your sister is infuriating and probably needs a good slap, she doesn’t seem to be in the middle of any dastardly scheme except to join up with Sokka to bore us to death.” Sokka made an outraged noise. “But you could have told us that Azula didn’t kidnap your sister. It’s not our fault that we assumed the worst when you told us to go and fetch Kiyi from Azula with no clarification.”

Zuko went bright red. “Your note wasn’t exactly helpful, Azula! What was I supposed to think but the worst? Why do you have to be so infuriating?”

“If you have basic reading comprehension, it was clear from my letter that I didn’t kidnap her. And why would I? I’m not the type to go around snatching away random children just because I feel like it.”

“Well you have never been in the habit of letting anyone else know your motivations - you’re always scheming and that’s not counting the fact that Azula always-”

“Lies, yes, I am well aware of your little phrase. Very true apart from the fact that I tell the truth far more often than I lie but you never notice because you’re always sheltering in your little cocoon of obliviousness!” Azula had raised her voice, matching Zuko’s blustring shouts with her calm collectedness (on the outside anyway). The soldiers surrounding Zuko started to get twitchy, obviously anticipating a fight that could be a threat to the Firelord’s life. Sokka, Katara and Aang tried their best to divert their attention elsewhere since family arguments were always the most awkward situations to be in, especially if the family in question wasn’t yours. 

“That is-” 

“Stop!” shouted Kiyi angrily, her high pitched voice surprisingly commanding for a child of so little stature. Apparently it had done the trick since her older siblings went silent, turning towards the new voice.

“Kiyi, I don’t think-”

“No, you can shush Mr Uppity Firelord.” Azula snorted. “And you can shush too, Weirdy Fire.” Azula felt strangely insulted by the name and could see Zuko fighting a smile out of the corner of her working eye which just rubbed salt into the wound. “Stop arguing! No one even knows what you’re arguing about and it’s annoying. I like both of you but if you keep being tiresome I won’t like either of you.”

Azula and Zuko glanced at each other, and raised each of their remaining eyebrows. Zuko knelt down so he was at Kiyi’s height. “Okay, we’ll stop arguing now. Do you want to go to Mum now? She’s worried sick and you need to give her the biggest hug in the world, okay?” Zuko said gently and Kiyi ran off, very energetic for someone who had a tiring couple of days. “Look, we can argue later but I have a lot of questions right now. Mainly, what happened? Where have you been? And are you planning to kill me?”

“Wow, you’re getting the ice-breaker over and done with quickly.”

“There is no need to be facetious, Azula, and you know what I mean.” 

“Ooh you learnt a big boy word!” she said with a shit-eating grin on her face - okay, maybe she and Kiyi were more similar than she originally thought. “Can we sit down to have this conversation? You know it’s very impolite to keep guests waiting outside and not even invite them in, especially when they have been forcibly removed from their home after looking after an unwanted run away.” Azula glared at the three teenagers behind her.

“Okay, okay. We can be civilised and discuss this without anyone getting all firebender-y okay? But if there is so much as a hint of you plotting against the nation, I will have you arrested and throw you into the cell next to Father. Mai and Ty Lee are here and they will attend the meeting of course, and… oh, you haven’t seen Mum yet, have you?”

“How did you work that one out, dum-dum? I swear you’ve all lost more brain cells than is biologically possible. It’s a shame some of the world’s most prominent world leaders are all brain dead.”

Zuko ignored the barb. “Well we can go to her right now if you want to see her?”

“I’d rather pluck out my remaining eyeball. I’ll see Mai and Ty Lee and tell you all what you want to know there so I don’t have to repeat myself while mother can have a word with her daughter about running away from the palace.” Zuko raised his eyebrow. “Oh don’t look at me like that, idiot. I ran away in completely different circumstances.”

Zuko nodded mutely and followed his sister as she stalked into the palace.


	4. At Least Mai and Ty Lee Aren't Brain Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula continues to be surrounded, almost exclusively, by idiots.

Azula and Zuko walked through the palace corridors with Sokka, Katara and Aang following close behind and then with guards following behind them. They had just passed the corridor that Azula remembered having led to the library when they heard footsteps running in their vague direction. Azula looked at Zuko and he shrugged casually despite the fact the tension in his shoulders and the little quirk of his lips revealed his true anxiety. 

It was then that a pink-clad acrobat rounded the corner and stopped dead in her tracks. “Azula!” Ty Lee gasped as soon as she saw the newcomer, covering her mouth with her hands. 

Azula couldn’t force any words out as she also stopped walking, standing almost as still as a statue in the middle of the corridor. She knew that it was wrong to put her only friends in prison, _obviously_ , but to be perfectly honest, Azula thought that they got off light considering they had committed treason and she _had_ saved them from capital punishment. However, Azula also knew that she had been manipulative and horrible towards them during their time in the war even before the Boiling Rock incident which couldn’t be excused. 

When they were little, she could be bossy and maybe a little mean - she knew that - but back then she never would have dreamed of threatening or manipulating Mai or Ty Lee to get them to do something they didn’t want to do. It was hard juggling her roles as commander to her subordinates and being a good friend to the only two people in the world who could stand to talk to her outside of a political context. Now Azula wasn’t even sure if they were ever her friends. Maybe they were always looking for an out and the Boiling Rock handed it to them.

“Hello, Ty Lee,” she finally responded, praying to literally every spirit she had ever heard of to keep the others from hearing the tremble in her voice. 

Ty Lee swallowed nervously. “Umm… How have you been?”

“Seriously? Small talk right now?” Azula asked, one eyebrow raised and slipping back into her mask of smooth confidence. She was proud that it only faltered a little when Mai turned the corner as well. Mai blinked once (her version of absolute astonishment) before lapsing into her own mask of indifference. Azula wasn’t sure if she was imagining things or not, but she was almost certain that there was a faint glimmer of sympathy in Mai’s tawny eyes.

“Well what’s she supposed to say?” Mai said impassively with only a hint of hostility seeping through. “Why did you disappear? Why did Ozai burn you? Why didn’t you reappear until now? Those seem like fairly heavy conversation topics to be discussed in the middle of the palace corridor.”

Azula was glad that Mai and Ty Lee weren’t completely brain dead like the others and had at least managed to connect the pretty clear dots to work out what happened to her face without having to ask obvious questions. Azula now felt very self conscious about her scar considering the reactions that everyone had so far. Everytime one of Zuko’s or his friends’ gazes lingered on her branded face, she felt a prickle crawl up her spine as Ozai’s voice echoed through her head. Azula had vowed that he wouldn’t control her any longer and yet all he seemed to do was fester inside of his daughter’s brain waiting for her to snap.

“Fair enough, I suppose,” Azula replied, her acquiescence signaling that she wasn’t here to be trouble. She and Mai were bred for court politics and generally talked in a way that went in circles, never saying what they truly meant. It was like a dance as they tested each other, working out the boundaries and intents of their opponent’s every action. They used to do this as friends. Azula wasn’t sure what they were anymore. 

The others didn’t really understand this way of talking without really saying anything but the tension seemed to have eased slightly, though there were definitely undercurrents of friction straining between the three former friends. No one said anything as Mai and Azula faced off, assessing each other while Ty Lee looked on anxiously.

Zuko, surprisingly, was the one that broke the silence. “I’ve had a meeting room set up with tea so we can all talk. Shall we?”

***

The meeting room was simply decorated with (predictably) red curtains and sashes hung over the windows and around the room to give a sense of intimacy. It made Azula’s skin crawl. Zuko and Mai were sitting next to each other at the head of the table with Azula in the chair next to them and Ty Lee opposite. Sokka sat next to Azula with his feet up on the table while Katara was over the table from him, glaring disapprovingly. Aang was opposite the Firelord and soon-to-be Firelady, smiling pleasantly at everyone which contrasted the rigid atmosphere. Everyone kept side-eyeing Azula, still taken aback by the scar that now ravaged her face. She pretended not to notice.

“So, Azula,” Zuko began, “Why haven’t you come to kill me or take the throne? It seems very out of character for you to not be plotting something.”

“Well that just goes to show how much you know me,” she started off spitefully but realised that there were merits to being polite to some of the most powerful people in the world. “There are many reasons as to why I did what I did during the war but it wasn’t necessarily because I wanted to claim power.'' Sokka scoffed and Azula glared at him for a moment before continuing. “It was more of… a survival instinct and I genuinely had belief in what we were doing. I’ve come to terms with the fact you aren’t dreadful, Zuko (though I have a sneaking suspicion that it is Mai’s help that is preventing you from that level of incompetence), so there’s no motivation to start a coup. The people seem to like you well enough near the capital, at least, and you’re not completely failing as Firelord so it’d be hard for me to gain traction with the nobles to start a rebellion as they’d be scared of repercussions from the public even if I wanted to start a civil war.”

“How do we know you’re not lying?” Katara pointed out.

“Ask Kiyi. I’m sure she’ll tell you how boring my day is without plots to overthrow the monarchy.” The Avatar and the Water Tribe Siblings seemed appeased enough at that and relaxed very slightly.

“What are you going to do about your mother?” Mai asked in her usual indifferent manner. Azula could tell that Mai was trying to get under her skin and it was definitely working.

“What about her?” Zuko said, suddenly defensive.

“I don’t want to see her,” Azula insisted through gritted teeth.

“Why not? She’ll want to see you. Mum has always been good to us, especially when you compare her with Ozai,” Zuko said adamantly.

“She’s the reason why Ozai _could_ hurt me,” Azula snapped, her jaw clenched and smoke practically trailing out of her nostrils. Seeing that Zuko was about to argue, she interrupted, “Let’s… let’s not argue now.” Azula was self conscious of the Avatar and his riffraff watching their family drama play out and so she bit back many, _many_ retorts she could give.

Ty Lee, eager to keep the peace, jumped in, “So, can you tell us what happened after the Boiling Rock? That was the last time we saw you, wasn't it?” Azula was about to reply when the door burst open.

“Toph!” Katara exclaimed, “Why do you have to make so much noise?”

“Because I have just arrived and want some recognition. What are you all doing in the meeting room? Normally-” she broke off for a moment. “Is that Sparky’s sister?”

“Yeah, you’ve missed a lot, Toph,” Sokka said with a smile. “Kiyi ran away and found Azula - we’re still not quite sure how she did that - and then we sort of forced Azula to come with us but we fell asleep and she didn’t burn us to death so I don’t think she’s got any diabolical plots up her sleeve.”

“Why do I always arrive after the exciting stuff,” Toph complained, stamping her foot on the ground to make a chair. She was lucky that Zuko had chosen a meeting room with a stone floor instead of a wooden one or it could have been messy. Azula was surprised that Toph hadn’t questioned any of what Sokka had just explained to her but reasoned that being one of the Avatar’s companions would have given her experience in not questioning whatever dumb scheme they were about to pull next.

“Anyway,” Katara said pointedly, “Ty Lee was just asking what Azula has been doing since we saw her at the Boiling Rock.”

“Oh, please continue. I am sorry to disturb you, Madame Fussybritches,” Toph said with faux politeness. Everyone looked towards Azula who sighed.

“Very well. After the Boiling Rock, I had to return to Ozai and he branded me-”

“What?” Toph said, “I have clearly missed a lot.”

“Unfortunately my face is almost as ugly as my dear brother’s now.”

“Your scar is worse than mine! You’re missing an eye!”

“And yet you are still uglier-”

Mai sighed, putting a stop to the bickering. “You two still argue like 8 year olds.”

“It’s better than them trying to kill each other,” Ty Lee said.

“Anyway, as I was saying, after my face was burnt as a punishment for my failure at the Boiling Rock, I had just over a week to leave the palace before Sozin’s Comet. Either Ozai would come back or you lot would and I had no desire to see either him or you and I still don’t,”

“Hey!” Sokka interjected but was quickly shushed by Aang. 

“Dr Tokumei helped smuggle me out and I started walking until I collapsed in the street of a small village from infection. I contracted two more infections but after that, it had mostly healed. I travelled for a few years until I settled down and lived in peace until you lot came along.” The door burst open again and this time Kiyi came running in.

“And now she’s a painter and does something with glass and she’s really good at it.” Kiyi made a beeline straight for Azula and plonked herself down on her sister’s lap. The look on Azula’s face made Sokka snort, Ty Lee giggle nervously and Zuko burst out laughing.

“What are you doing? And were you eavesdropping?” Azula asked, disgust very present in your voice.

“I’m sitting in your lap,” Kiyi replied with a cheeky smile.

“Why would you possibly want to do that?”

“I don’t know, it’s just more comfortable than a chair even if you do have really bony hips.”

Azula scowled and lifted the small child up and passed her on to Zuko who was still giggling. “You should have seen the look on your face - Agni, that was hilarious.”

“At least she’s more intelligent than you were when you were 10.”

“I’m almost 11.”

“That still means you’re 10 but yes, you seem to have a brain bigger than a pea. I remember telling Zuko that blue fire was actually cold and he put his hand in it when he was that age.”

“Did you actually do that, Sparky?” Toph said, cackling.

“Oh be quiet, Toph. You don’t even know what blue is,” Zuko said, scowling.

“Kiyi, you said something about Azula being a painter?” Ty Lee said, trying to get the conversation back on track again.

“Yep. She paints in black ink and it looks really pretty. And she also has a ginormous fire thingymajig and she told me it was for cooking children who don’t shut up but then she told me it was glassblowing.”

“Azula! You told her that?” Zuko scolded.

“She talks a lot,” was the only response that Azula deigned to give.

Zuko turned back to Kiyi who was still in his lap. “What did mum and your dad say? Do they know that you’re here?”

“Dad told me off and Mum cried and hugged me a lot. They said I could go out and play.”

“Hey, Azula?” Aang asked from the bottom of the table. “While you’re here, can you teach me lightning bending?” Katara glared at him, probably trying to communicate that perhaps having the person who killed you with lightning, help you produce lightning would not be a good idea.

Azula groaned. “When can I go home?”

“Can’t you just stay for a week?” Zuko asked. “I still haven’t learnt lightning bending yet either and Uncle is too busy in Ba Sing Se to come here and teach me.”

Azula thought for a moment. “Very well, it is an embarrassment to have a Firelord on the throne who can’t bend lightning.”

“Thank you?” Zuko said, unsure of what he should say in response to that.

“What has Uncle Fuddyduddy taught you so far?”

“Don’t call him that,” he snapped. “Uncle’s taught me the motions and that you need to be at peace with yourself to produce the lightning.”

“Well that’s wrong.”

“What do you mean? Uncle can produce lightning so it can’t be wrong.”

“There are different ways to produce lightning but the fundamental thing is to have a clear focus or nothing in your head at all. Mr Pacifist over there will probably be able to use his peace of mind but you certainly won’t.”

“Hey!”

“I don’t use that one either, dumdum,” she argued back. “You can probably use the same one that Ozai did but less… genocidal. He used his focus for the future - you know, glory, ruling the world, etcetera, etcetera. You can probably focus on your future as peacefully ruling the Fire Nation or whatever nauseating thing you want.”

“What do you do once you’ve got a peaceful mind?” Aang asked.

“You need to separate the positive and negative energies internally which is the easy part once you’ve got a clear or focused mind. The hard part is sending it the right way.”

“What do you mean?” said Zuko.

“I assume that Uncle was near you when he tried to teach you last?” Zuko nodded. “Well that would have been in case you sent the charge the wrong way towards your feet so he could redirect it out by touching you.”

“What happens if it goes towards your feet?” Katara said worriedly.

“It leaves your feet a melty, bloody mess which is incredibly painful and can cause a heart attack if you’re unlucky. And then that also goes a long way in preventing you from trying again because of the fear of it happening every time you try. But don’t worry, Zuko, I’ll be there to redirect it if you’re incompetant.

“Hang on, you know how to redirect lightning?” Zuko asked incredulously. 

Azula raised her eyebrow, “Well it’s kind of inherent in being a lightning bender.”

“No it’s not! Uncle invented the technique by looking at water bending movements!”

“I’m not talking about when someone attacks you with it, idiot. I can get rid of the lightning in your bodies no problem because the charge has had no time to build up and I don’t have a split second to decide the path I need it to go through my chi paths for me not to die, but if it’s shot right at me, then it does some damage. Uncle has most likely invented a way for it to not have any lasting damage when you’re attacked with it. Anyway, Zuzu-” Kiyi giggled. “We need to talk about which ministers you need to fire because there are at least three that are embezzling from the Royal Treasury and that is the last thing you need, especially when pushing for the social programs that got defunded under Ozai.”

“What? How do you even know about this?”

“Because I’m not stupid, dumdum.”


	5. Light Property Destruction And A Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter pretty much sums it up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, it's not very graphic but there's a bit of self harm in this chapter.

After a while of Azula and Zuko talking (well really it was Mai she was talking to - Zuko was the compassionate Firelord they needed but not very politically minded), most of the people in the room had left, claiming boredom.

Soon, it was just Zuko, Azula, Mai and Ty Lee sitting in the room in awkward silence. “So, Azula. What are you going to do about Mum?” Zuko said tentatively.

“I don’t want to see her.”

“Azula! Why don’t you want to see her? She was the parent who actually loved us!”

“She didn’t love me!” Azula shouted. The lanterns in the room flickered blue for a moment. Ty Lee and Mai, who were wearing the universal expression one wears when other people’s family drama is unfolding right in front of you, took this as their cue to leave.

“Yes, she did, Azula! Our Mum is a kind and compassionate woman - of course she loved you!”

“No, she only loved you! Can you get that into your thick skull? She thought I was a monster. She left us with Ozai! How could she do that to us?” 

***

“Where are Sparky and Firebug?” Toph asked as Mai and Ty Lee entered the courtyard where everyone was sitting, enjoying the sunshine.

“Trying to see how loud they need to shout to cause the palace to collapse,” Mai said drily. 

“They’re arguing? Aren’t you going to intervene?” Katara said. “Can we trust Azula to leave her alone with Zuko?”

“If Azula attacks it will be with Zuko attacking too. Azula’s temper is normally very restrained but with Zuko… it can get nasty and you don’t want to get in the middle of that,” Ty Lee said chirpily.

“I just hope they don’t burn down the new tapestry that we installed in that room - Ursa will have our heads if they do.”

***

Okay, the tapestry had caught fire but it wasn’t really their fault. Well, it was their fault, but emotions were running high and if their combined anger had caused the lanterns to flare a little too much and a stray flame had jumped onto the tapestry, then who could blame them? Unfortunately Mai probably would. 

The argument had ended as soon as they noticed the fire and they left the meeting room, the door slamming shut behind them, with flushed faces and steam coming out of their ears.

They met the others outside, making long, purposeful strides to release some of their pent up energy. 

“Did you sort it out?” Ty Lee said, pleased to see them unscathed.

“No.” Azula said.

“The new tapestry caught on fire,” Zuko admitted sheepishly. The look on Mai’s face could have combusted him on the spot. 

“Your mother is going to kill you, you know, and probably me by association,” she sighed, handing the siblings a cup of water.

They were all abruptly interrupted by a new voice. “I’m sorry to intrude, your highness, but I have just received news that Princess Azula has returned to the palace. It’s good to see you again, princess,” Dr Tokumei smiled kindly at the scarred young woman he saw before him.

Azula approached Dr Tokumei. “It’s good to see you again, Doctor.” And then she bowed slightly deeper than would be proper considering the class divide. Zuko choked on his water a little, Ty Lee made a weird humming noise and Mai raised her eyebrow. 

“What is it?” Katara asked, very puzzled at the reactions of the Fire Nation natives.

“Azula just bowed! That’s her equivalent of jumping up and down, hugging him and saying ‘thank you’ a thousand times!” Zuko exclaimed hoarsely, still coughing a bit from the water that went down the wrong way.

“How are you, princess? I must say, I feared that you were dead from infection.”

“It takes more than that to kill me, Dr Tokumei.”

“Oh yes, princess, you have defied death more times than is good for my heart. Now, could I take a look at your face?” 

“You’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer are you?” Azula sighed. “If you must.” The doctor gestures for her to sit on the steps. “And of course we’re not going inside to do this - that would be too convenient and traditional, wouldn’t it?”

“There is no point going inside when there’s perfectly good light outside. You know when I served in the military, I performed operations out in swamps and-“

“Jungles. Yes, you’ve told me many times,” Azula rolled her eyes. 

The Doctor chuckled. “Okay princess, now tell me, did you pick up any infections?”

“Yes, three I think.”

“I must say, you and your brother are pretty indestructible even if your survival instincts are the bare minimum.”

“You’re such a charmer.”

***

Meanwhile, the others were watching the exchange with wide eyes. 

“Why isn’t Azula burning him alive for disrespect or something?” Ty Lee whispered.

“I don’t know,” Zuko replied disbelievingly. 

***

The Doctor was prodding at Azula’s face, much to her displeasure, but she endured it because of her uncharacteristic fondness for the man. He had been treating her for various illnesses and injuries since she was little and he had always talked to her as if she were a proper person and not a stupid child unlike everyone else even before her prodigious talents had been discovered. He pulled slightly at her melted eyelid and a spike of pain shot through her burn. She didn’t make any reaction and yet, somehow, Dr Tokumei still knew that it had pained her. 

“You know, I wish that my patients wouldn’t hide when they feel pain because it really makes it difficult to help,” Dr Tokumei huffed passive aggressively.

“How do you always know when something hurts? It’s supernatural.” Azula grumbled.

“Practice, my dear. Come by the infirmary later and I’ll give you some ointment.” And with that, he bowed and left, leaving Azula to wander over to the others who were all staring at her with shocked expressions.

“What is it?”

“You… you were nice to him. Have we travelled to an alternate dimension?” Zuko spluttered.

“I’m not stupid, unlike the majority of you here. It’s always best to be on the good side of a medical professional who could save your life,” she said, omitting the part about the affection she felt for the man.

“Fair enough,” Toph shrugged.

“Hey, Azula?” Sokka asked. “Have you read the new book on airship designs - the Yeung one?” Azula shook her head. “If you liked the one about thermodynamics, this one will be right up your street. I got Zuko to order it for the Royal Library - it’s supposed to be the most up to date text on airships yet. Come on!” Sokka yanked on Azula’s sleeve and pulled her towards the place.

“Don’t touch me,” she snapped, giving him a small electric shock (which he yelped at in a very undignified manner) but followed him to the library anyway, her interest at whatever the buffoon wanted to show her outweighing her anger.

“Umm… What’s with those two?” Zuko asked.

“They've become best buddies since the ride here,” Aang said, smiling cheekily even if there was a slight tension around his mouth and eyes that wouldn’t be present normally.

“They formed a team to try and bore us to death, more like,” Katara retorted, glaring distrustfully at Azula as she disappeared into the palace. “They were talking about weird nerdy stuff all the way here.”

The light tap of little footsteps interrupted them and Kiyi ran full tilt into Zuko. “Are you talking about Azula and Sokka being weird?”

“Yes, we are. What are you doing here?” Zuko said kindly.

“Mum wants to see Azula.” Zuko, Ty Lee and Mai froze.

“Uh oh.”

“How are you going to try and prevent this inevitable explosion?” Mai said blandly.

“Oh Agni,” Zuko groaned, dragging his hand down his face.

“Why does Azula not like Mum?” Kiyi asked innocently.

Zuko was well aware of the rest of the Gaang looking at them with stifled curiosity and so answered very awkwardly (well more awkwardly than normal). “That’s very complicated, Kiyi, and I don’t quite understand it myself.”

“Didn’t she just tell you while you two were arguing? You took a long time over it.” Mai said, her patience clearly wearing thin.

“I just don’t understand her! How could she not want to see Mum when she’s the parent that actually cared about us?”

“Zuko!” Ty Lee exclaimed. “Number one: why don’t you not talk about very complicated family matters in front of a small child and several other people who are all probably feeling very awkward right now. And number two: I think that for once in her life, Azula was being honest in your argument and you didn’t listen to her. You didn’t have to listen to her but you can’t complain you don’t understand whatever the hell goes on in Azula’s mind if you don’t pay attention.”

“Ty Lee - you don’t have any right to say that! Don’t you think I know my own mother?”

“You are just proving her point, Zuko,” Mai interrupted his outburst.

“You’re on their side as well. Why does everyone keep questioning my mother?”

“We’re not but Azula clearly is so maybe you should actually talk to your sister instead of shouting at her.” Mai said quietly. “You two have the combined listening skills of a feral hog monkey.” Zuko blinked twice before storming off back into the palace. Mai sighed heavily, “He’ll come around once he’s cooled down.” Mai was incredibly wary about having Azula back in the palace again and it would be so much more incredibly tiresome if her and Zuko were at each other’s throats the whole time. 

“Is everything okay?” Aang asked.

“Yes, Zuko’s just being an idiot again.”

Conversation steadily built back up after an awkward silence until they all went in for lunch.

***

They all trailed into the dining room to see Azula and Sokka already there, involved in what seemed to be a very animated discussion (well Sokka was animated; Azula was giving more than monosyllabic replies which was animated by her standards). Zuko was there as well, looking extremely bored.

“Oh thank Agni,” Zuko said, relief written on his face. “I don’t know how much more I can take about ‘the potential of mariculture for sustainable farming’. Please help.”

Katara laughed. “Not as bad as the thermodynamics lecture we had to listen to on the way here.” Both Sokka and Azula looked up to glare at their respective sibling before returning to their conversation. 

Zuko leant over to give his sheepish apologies to Mai and Ty Lee and then the lunch continued. Everyone was talking and laughing in an easy manner (even with Azula there) until a man, unfamiliar to Azula, walked in. Kiyi ran up to him shouting, “Daddy!” Azula knew who was going to walk through that door next.

Everything happened in slow motion. Zuko’s face blanched. Ty Lee and Mai exchanged worried looks. Kiyi didn’t really know what was going on but she could tell that it’d be explosive. Ursa walked in.

Ursa scanned the table and her eyes widened as they reached Azula’s mutilated face. “Azula! My darling! What did he do to you?” Azula jumped out of her seat stiffly, tension radiating off of her. She held herself like a cornered animal about to pounce - hackles raised with aggression that originated from fear. “Azula, what’s the matter?”

The girl in question shook her head a couple of times and although her royal facade of perfection remained mostly intact, her eyes betrayed her true fear and confusion - she uncharacteristically vulnerable - not at all like the Azula they had known during the war. Zuko thought he knew this Azula from when they were children but the memories were slippery and he couldn’t grasp them, no matter how hard he tried.

“Are you quite well, my dear?” Ursa said and Azula couldn’t think because that is the voice that haunts her. The voice that only ever scolded her and called her a monster. The voice that never loved her. The voice that made turning to Ozai Azula’s only option. The unfamiliar man standing slightly towards the right of her looked bewildered.

The lanterns flickered from red to blue and everyone startled at the ominous colour change. This reminded them of the Azula they knew in the war, the Azula who had killed Aang, who had plotted the downfall of Ba Sing Se, the Azula who’s dangerous and a threat. The flames started to flare up as Azula tensed even more - Zuko was about to intervene, a panicked expression on his face, when the lanterns returned to their normal colour and died down as his little sister left the room. He could see her shaking even from the other side of the table.

Tears started to sprout from his mother’s eyes and he felt a massive fireball of rage form in his stomach - the anger was aimed at his sister for making his Mum cry. But he took a few deep breaths and the words Mai said to him earlier resonated in his brain: Azula clearly had some warped perception of their mother and maybe he should talk to her without arguing. 

“May Yangchen help us,” the young Firelord mumbled to himself. Raising his voice, he continued, “I think it would be wise to let Azula calm down unless we want to walk around without eyebrows for a couple of months.” He stood up, as composed as he was able to be and went to comfort his Ursa.

The meal was extremely tense after that.

***

Azula had only caused some light property destruction once she reached a deserted courtyard attached to the west wing of the palace. After she had burnt a few bushes, the blue blazes releasing some of her emotions, she collapsed under a tree, hyperventilating with a torrent of thoughts attacking her.

She could hear Mother asking the air what was wrong with her. She could hear the word ‘monster’ ring in her ears. She felt every emotion she had ever experienced every time her mother had left Azula feeling abandoned at once and it twisted up her insides. She saw flashes of every terrible thing she’d done: how was it possible that an 18 year old had this many regrets?

Azula didn’t notice that her nails clawed her arms until she smelt burning cloth. She looked down and saw the sleeve of her simple red tunic smouldering away, revealing already blistering burns in the shape of her four fingertips. It was painful, of course, but she wasn’t really fazed by much nowadays when it came to burns - they all seemed insignificant compared to one Ozai had inflicted on her face. Azula breathed heavily, trying to slow down her heart rate and return to her normal, composed self. 

The princess stood up and dusted her trouser legs, sighing to herself. She really needed to stop losing control like this.

Azula decided to go for a walk around the garden, trying to calm herself down into a normal state of emotions. Tension was still seeping off of her and her limbs still shook with each step but at least she wasn’t having a panic attack anymore which was… you know… something.

Eventually, Azula returned inside and decided to stop by Dr Tokumei’s office to pick up the ointment he had promised her. She made sure to twist her sleeve around so that no-one would notice her momentary lapse of control and strode indoors with as much confidence that she could muster.

Azula reached the infirmary fairly quickly and knocked on the door. There were a few clangs and the sound of the doctor swearing before the door swung open. “Ah, princess, why don’t you come in?” 

Azula stepped into the bright room and waited as Dr Tokumei fussed around with bottles on a shelf in the corner of the room. “Here you go, princess-” he stopped and looked at Azula harshly. 

“What is it, doctor?”

Doctor Tokumei suddenly grabbed Azula’s wrist in an iron grip, ignoring her protests, and twisted the sleeve the right way round, revealing the burns. His gaze softened as he rolled up both sleeves and examined the few faint scars that mottled her forearms. Azula just looked down, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Princess, you do not need to be ashamed. Would you like to tell me what happened?”

“I lost control,” she replied, still resolutely avoiding looking into the kindly doctor’s eyes. “It happens sometimes.” 

Dr Tokumei had no clue on how to handle this situation - he was very out of his depth when it came to mental health which was a relatively unexplored area of medicine in the Fire Nation. 

“Okay Princess, I’m going to dress the burns so they don’t get infected. Is that alright?” Azula nodded and Dr Tokumei set about cleaning the burn marks and bandaging them up. 

“It’s supernatural how you can sniff out injuries like a blood lion-hound,” Azula muttered. 

“As I’ve said before, it’s all about practice, my dear. Shall I sew up your sleeve while I’m at it?”

“That would be useful.”

Dr Tokumei finished and Azula went to leave when he reached out and stopped her. “Princess, I’m a little out of my depth here but I want you to know that if you ever feel like... doing that, you can come and sit in here and we can do something to take your mind off of it like Pai Sho or I can teach you stuff about medicine - I know you like learning. Just… at the very least, let me bandage you up so it doesn’t get infected.” 

Azula nodded her head slowly. “Thank you, doctor.” 

Azula left the infirmary, liking Dr Tokumei even more than before. What she said to Zuko earlier about wanting to be on his good side because he could potentially save her life was true but she held some actual affection for him: he treated her with nothing but kindness ever since she was little and acted more parentally to her than either of her biological ones. 

***

Azula decided that it was probably a good idea to try and find Zuko, even if it just was to find out where she could get a change of clothes and which room she could sleep in when the time came. Really, it was very inconsiderate of them to take her to the palace without even a chance to pack a bag of essentials. 

She wandered about, noticing all the changes that had occurred pertaining to the decoration and lay-out of the palace until she found herself at the Firelord’s office doors. Maybe Zuko was actually doing some work now. Azula knocked on the door and entered without waiting for the response. 

Zuko was sitting in his chair, signing off several files of paper when there came a knock and the door banged open and startled him out of his chair. He startled again at seeing her face, still having not quite got used to it mirroring his now more than ever, way beyond shared sibling genetics.

“Azula! You can’t just barge in here like that!”

“I didn’t barge. I knocked.” Azula said with faux innocence. 

Zuko scowled in response. “What do you want?”

“Clothes, a place to sleep - I am not sleeping in my old room - and reassurance I don’t have to see Mother again.”

“Done, done and let’s compromise.” Azula groaned but Zuko cut her off. “Look, you don’t have to come to the meal tonight - I can send something up if you really don’t want to be there but tomorrow, let’s meet up, just the three of us, and talk.”

“You have been spending far too much time with Uncle.”

“Please?”

“Fine.” Azula turned to leave.

“And no more burning bushes!” he called after her.

“I’m making no promises!” she shouted as the door closed behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... Zuko's trying but he's not quite getting it yet. And don't worry, Azula and Ursa will be talking more in the next chapter when shit really goes down.


	6. Why Did We Think This Was A Good Idea?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula is once again forced to question how stupid her brother really is.

Azula woke up the next morning feeling unsettled. She had tossed and turned all night as nightmares plagued her sleep - the psychological damage of returning to the palace was only just catching up with her but she had said that she was going to stay for a week and she was a woman of her word, afterall. Plus, it was reasonable to not want to give her brother and the Avatar and his friends even more reason not to trust her. 

Due to this restlessness, Azula rose even before the sun started to climb over the horizon and decided to go for a walk to keep her mind from spinning. Muscle memory led her to the training courtyard.

Blue fire was unleashed as she moved in slow katas where the movements were all about control and precision - not brute strength. She moved fluidly between each set, taking the time to appreciate her gift of firebending and the warmth her inner fire bestowed on her. 

After a couple of hours (she really had gotten up very early), Azula took the time to cool down and stretch before heading back inside to wash and get a drink. 

A voice interrupted her. “That was beautiful, darling.”

Azula cursed herself - how could she have let someone sneak up on her like that? It was disgraceful. She stopped her internal scolding before slowly turning round to face the unwelcome intruder. “Mother,” she acknowledged with a stiff bow.

“Azula, what’s happening with you? I don’t like how you behaved at dinner yesterday and Zuko mentioned you destroyed some bushes. I’m worried about you,” Ursa said with a calmness that seemed to grate against Azula’s ears.

“Oh please, Mother, I’m not stupid like your darling little Zuzu. I know you don’t actually care.” Azula struggled to keep her emotions under control and her cool and collected facade in place. “And if you do care, it will only be about whatever destruction I managed to do to your precious garden.”

“What do you mean? Of course I care! I always have.”

“No you didn’t! You didn’t care - you didn’t love me like you loved Zuko. You thought I was a monster!” Azula accused, her hands clenching with anger and hurt.

“Azula, I- you were just so much like your father-”

“I was so much like him because you drove me to him. He was where I got validation and praise and I felt loved. I know now that he only loved that I could be his weapon but it was better than being ignored - you only talked to me when you were reprimanding me.”

“Azula-”

“No! I don’t want your excuses. I just want to know why you only said goodbye to Zuko and not to me. I want to know why you didn’t take us with you. I want to know if you would have murdered grandfather had it been my life on the line, not Zuko’s. And yes, I know about that - it’s a wonder that no one apart from me figured it out at the time. Well I suppose if they did then they’d have good enough sense not to say anything with father on the throne.” She chuckled mirthlessly. 

“Azula-” Ursa was taken aback by Azula’s direct (and true) accusation of what had really happened to Firelord Azulon and didn’t even try to deny it, correctly guessing that Azula was too intelligent to fool for anything she said. “I know I’ve made mistakes-”

“Yes, you’ve made mistakes! Your failures have been branded into your children’s faces forever and now you have the audacity to expect me to be happy to see you again? You’re even more of a fool and a coward than I thought.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Azula, I really am.”

It looked as if Azula was going to explode with more vitriol against Ursa but suddenly she deflated, all of her fight draining out of her. “Look, Mother, I am only going to be here for a week and then I am going back home to live my peaceful life far away from whatever it is that is going on here. I don’t really want to talk to - I don’t even want to see you - but I can be civil. Is that acceptable for you?”

“Yes,” Ursa sighed quietly in response after a small pause. Azula turned around and walked away, her posture so rigid that Ursa could practically see her vibrating with tension.

***

Azula returned to her room to wash up, keeping busy to keep the spiral of thoughts twisting and turning in her head at bay.

By then, it was time for breakfast and she made her way to the dining room where everyone else was already seated. She sat down in the only available chair in between Toph and Sokka while everyone else glanced between her and Ursa nervously. 

Azula sighed. “It’s fine. We talked this morning. You can stop looking at me like I’m about to set the palace on fire, thank you.”

“You talked?” Zuko asked, his face flashing through a range of emotions.

“Yes. I have agreed to be civil.” The whole table seemed to let out a sigh of relief and conversation resumed once again.

“Azula, this is Ikem, Mum’s husband and Kiyi’s father.”

“It’s nice to meet you, princess,” Biming smiled genially. 

Azula nodded curtly in response and spoke the usual polite greetings, having no emotion at all for whoever this man was. She was about to reach for a plate laden with tamagoyaki before she was interrupted by Toph smacking her on the arm. “What do you want?” Azula snapped. 

“Woah, calm it Firebug-”

“Firebug?”

“Yeah, everyone gets a nickname. Anyway, my earthbending skills have improved quite a bit over the last however many years and you’re the only one to have ever passed my lie detecting so I want to try it again.”

“Okay?”

“Brilliant!” Toph practically shouted and several pairs of eyes turned to the earthbender who was the cause of such a loud noise. “Firebug here is going to lie to me!” she exclaimed for the benefit of those now staring at her.

“What?” Aang asked, very confused, much like everyone else was.

“Toph, some context would be appreciated please,” Katara said with a long-suffering expression.

“Firebug’s the only person who has ever successfully lied to me and I want to see if she can still do it. Come on, do the same lie as last time - it was hilarious. Well it would have been if it wasn’t during a war and we weren’t trying to kill each other, but you know…”

“Okay…” There was a small pause as Azula tried to recall an offhand phrase she had said 4 years ago. “I am a 400 ft tall purple platypus-bear... with pink horns and silver wings?” 

There was a pause and then Toph smacked the table as Kiyi giggled at Azula’s ridiculous words. “How the fuck do you do it?”

“Language,” Katara said warningly.

Toph groaned, “But don’t you want to know how she does it? How do you do it?” She looked at Azula accusingly.

“I don’t know, I just lie,” the princess replied calmly, quite amused at Toph’s frustration.

“But how do you control your breathing and heart rate?”

“It’s not about breathing and heart rate. It’s all about the lie itself.” Azula knew this was a very vague and cryptic response but wasn’t about to divulge any unnecessary information to anyone who could use it against her. Besides, what would be the fun in giving a straight answer?

“I don’t understand what you’re on about. You’re just weird, Firebug.”

“Says the person who can see through their feet.” 

Toph laughed at that just as Ursa cut in. “I’m confused. What was that with the purple platypus-bear?”

“Oh, that was on the Day of the Black Sun,” Sokka explained, remarkably casual for the topic at hand. “We broke into the Firelord’s secret bunker to confront Ozai but inside, it was just Azula who was there to distract us. Aang asked her for information on where Ozai actually was and that we’d know if she was lying but then she said the whole platypus bear thing to prove that we wouldn’t be able to tell she was lying.”

“And your father allowed you to face a potential invasion force, by yourself, without your bending,” Ursa said slowly.

“Yeah, it's almost as if he’s a horrible person,” Azula said, sarcasm dripping off her words, “Why is everyone surprised when it’s revealed he has done something heinous when he has already accumulated an extensive list of heinous deeds. Anyway, while I was doing that, he was busy shooting lightning at Zuko.” Was deflecting her mother onto Zuko petty? Yes. Did she feel bad? Absolutely not.

“What?” Ursa asked furiously, snapping her head round to face her son.

“Errr...That was the day I decided to join the Avatar so I went to confront Ozai and he shot lightning at me but I redirected it so it was fine,” Zuko said sheepishly stumbling over his words under the combustion bender-worthy glare that his mother was giving him.

Ursa looked like she had just lost 20 years of her life. “Why did you have to confront him? Couldn’t you have just left quietly?”

“He’s just an overdramatic idiot,” Azula said, “An idiot who likes to dob his sister in it when he leaves.”

“What are you talking ab-” Zuko paled dramatically as the dots connected in his mind. “Oh no. I-”

“Oh shut it, Zuko. I know that you’re just a halfwit and weren’t being malicious. You’re not nearly clever enough for that.”

“Thank you?”

Katara turned to Mai who was sitting next to her. “What are they talking about?”

“Azula told Ozai that she and Zuko took down Ba Sing Se together and that Zuko was the one who had killed Aang. When he left to join you, he told Ozai that Azula had lied which didn’t exactly please him.”

“Why did you tell him that? Why wouldn’t you have wanted all the credit… for killing me?” Aang trailed off.

“I had many reasons obviously. One of them, if you must know, was because father was starting to talk about marrying me off to one of the creepy generals at least 3 decades older than me and if Zuko was there, he would have been the priority for making heirs. Then there was the fact that being the only other person in the palace with Ozai was… a lot of pressure and if Zuko came back, he could share some of the weight. All in all, it would just have been better if he was given more credit than he was due.” 

Azula skipped the parts about missing Zuko and wanting to keep him safe, of course, but as she glanced around the table, she happened to make eye contact with Mai. The pointed look told Azula that Mai had figured out the more... sentimental reasons for bringing Zuko back with her as a hero. Azula hoped that Mai wouldn’t say anything - she had a reputation to uphold afterall.

“You told me it was just to save your own skin,” Zuko interjected.

“Well she lied obviously,” Mai said, maintaining eye contact with Azula while her opponent glared daggers at her. The whole table watched with apprehensive curiosity at their spontaneous staring match until Zuko awkwardly cleared his throat.

“Do you want to start to teach us lightning bending after breakfast?” he said, hoping to alleviate some of the tension in the room.

“If I must.”

***

Everyone was lounging in the courtyard, watching the training session because, as Toph said, it was likely to be absolutely hilarious to witness Sparky and Twinkletoes being subjected to Azula’s training methods, whatever they were. (The unsaid reason was because no one wanted to leave two of the most important world leaders alone with Azula of all people, especially when large amounts of lethal electricity was involved.)

“Right, remember what I told you about how the poles need to go up, through your arms, not down to your feet. That’s the key part to not getting injured. Do it one at a time so that I can redirect it out of you if it goes wrong. Aang, you go first.”

“So, how do I start?”

“First of all, clear your mind. For you, I’d hazard a guess that to form lightning, you’ll need to be at peace with yourself so try to get yourself into a semi-meditative headspace. Can you do that?” Aang nodded. “Then, you’ll need to follow these movements.” She waited as Aang copied her. “Feel the energy around you and separate the positive and negative poles - into yin and yang. When the poles collide, lightning will form and you need to guide the charge through your arms.”

Aang went through the motions but nothing happened apart from a few small sparks that spat lazily and were almost instantaneously carried off by the wind. 

“Remember to make your arms move fluidly. You need to rip the energy apart cleanly so that it can all come crashing back together. Zuko, it’s your turn. Now, for you, I’d recommend using your vision for the future, you know, peace and prosperity - whatever you want. Focus on it really hard and then begin to separate the poles.”

Zuko began to go through the movements and managed to produce a few sparks than Aang but nothing substantial enough to cause any damage. They went back and forth like this for about any hour until they actually started to produce semi-powerful bolts of lighting. 

They still hadn’t been able to send it the right way, though and Azula had to redirect towards the sky each time, sending crackling booms echoing around the caldera. Azula confirmed that this lack of progress was probably normal as usually lightning bending was taught at an older age once the bender had more experience. However that didn’t stop Zuko from losing his temper, which then caused Azula to grow irritable and even Aang was getting a little frustrated. 

“Okay, Zuko. You just need more power - if I had let it run, it would have gone down to your feet and only made a tiny little mess. Aang, your go.”

“For Agni’s sake! Why can’t I just get it! You’re a terrible teacher, Azula - I would do better by myself,” Zuko exclaimed through a clenched jaw. Azula bristled at his words but forced her anger down, not wanting to be accused of attempting to assassinate the Firelord.

“Aang, you’ve got the power but you keep sending it the wrong way. Remember to guide the charge upwards. Keep your chi paths open” she said through gritted teeth.

Aang began to move through the sequence and Azula sighed inwardly as the charge began to travel towards the avatar’s feet. She touched his forearm and started to redirect the lightning when she spotted Zuko out of the corner of her eye, trying it himself. Azula would have shrugged it off, letting Zuko face the consequences of his own actions, but Zuko’s lightning actually had power this time. And she could sense that it was heading straight down. If that happened, his feet would basically melt and could cause a heart attack. Why did her brother have to be this idiotic? It was one of life’s true mysteries. And now she had to save him like always. Typical.

Azula moved without really registering what she was about to try to do. She grabbed onto Aang and dragged him towards Zuko while she made contact with her brother’s skin as well. She had already started to redirect Aang’s lightning when Zuko’s lightning jumped onto her as well. Two charges simultaneously traversed through the chi paths in her body. Time seemed to stop as she glanced around: Zuko’s face was horrified and Aang’s held pure fear. She let go of both of the knumbskulls and forced the lightning out, feeling an agonising burning sensation as she tried to control the cold fire, and not simply guide it. 

The result was an explosion that came out of both her hands, making Azula’s thin frame fly backwards. She heard gasps and screams, probably coming from the area of the courtyard where everyone else was relaxing. Azula couldn’t do much but try to remain as loose as possible as she skimmed the ground, her movement only halted by a wall which she skidded into at full pelt with a sickening crunch. 

“Holy shit!” Zuko rushed over as Azula slowly started to sit up where bruises and cuts were starting to blossom on the unburnt parts of her face. Everyone else was looking on in curiosity and concern. “Azula- I’m so sor-”

As soon as Zuko was crouched down beside her, Azula pushed Zuko right in the middle of his chest so that he fell over. “This is the last time that I save your pathetic little life, Zuko. There is a reason why I told you not to try it without me close-by and that reason was so you don’t die. Not only did you put your own life in danger, you also could have killed Aang and I as well. This is why I was happy in my little minka painting instead of getting involved in all your dramatic theatrics. Why did you think that this was a good idea?” her tirade tailed off as Katara rushed over with her waterskin.

Katara smacked Zuko on the back of his head before turning to Azula. “What do I need to treat first?” she said, cleverly realising that asking what hurt most probably wasn’t the best way to coax the information out of the princess.

“My shoulder.”

“Okay, keep talking for me. Can you list your favourite animals?”

“Seriously?”

“Just do it, it’ll keep you conscious.”

“Fine.” Azula snapped, clenching her jaw for what felt like the millionth time that day. “Number one is a platypus-bear, number two is a mongoose-lizard…” Azula started naming animals while Katara pulled her tunic and undershirt down to reveal a nasty burn that resembled branches of a tree twisting and coiling around each other in a complicated pattern. 

“Zuko, fetch the doctor and tell him to bring bandages and burn ointment. Quickly.” 

As Zuko stood up to summon a servant, Katara started gently healing the burn as best as she could but it was far from perfect. She did as much as possible before the water was unable to help anymore before looking at Azula who was still naming animals with Zuko, once he returned, who watched with much amusement. “Number 6 is… the dolphin-piranha-”

“Azula, can you tell me where else you think you might be injured.”

“I hit my head pretty hard so you’ll want to look at that one next.” Azula’s imperious tone was still present even when she was injured. Katara expected nothing less.

“Princess, what have you gotten yourself this time?” Dr Tokumei said as he hurried over.

“It’s Zuko’s fault.”

Dr Tokumei chuckled and then turned to Katara. “Do you think that it would be acceptable to move her to the infirmary after I bandage her shoulder.”

“Yes, it’ll be better if we get her somewhere without dirt and I don’t think she’s in any danger if we move her.”

“Good, I’ll carry her.”

“You won’t be carrying me anywhere, thank you very much. I can walk,” Azula retorted indignantly.

“Absolutely not, my dear,” Dr Tokumei said as he picked her up, ignoring the many protests. “Just keep naming animals with your brother.”

Azula rolled her eye until she realised it made her dizzy. “Fine. Number 7 is-“ 

“Wait why haven’t you said turtle-ducks yet?” Zuko asked with disdain.

“I hate turtle-ducks. They are untrustworthy.”

“How can they be untrustworthy? Have you seen their little faces with their little shells? They are absolutely adorable.”

“You are in denial, Zuzu. The minute you turn around, turtle-ducks will stab you in the back without a moment’s notice.”

“You are the one in denial - their shells are filled with love. You just seem to be impervious to that.”

“Oh, is that another big boy word, Zuko?”

“Okay, you two,” Katara interrupted before Zuko could respond. “I don’t know what that argument was but you can shut up now. We’re here so you can go, Zuko.”

“What? Why?”

“We don’t know the full extent of the damage - due to your stupidity, may I remind you - so we may need to undress her a bit,” Katara explained as if she was talking to an idiot while Dr Tokumei was settling Azula on one of the beds.

“Oh okay,” Zuko said, his cheeks glowing bright red with embarrassment and shame as he hurriedly walked off.

Dr Tokumei was taking off the Princess’ outer layer of clothing, leaving her in just a thin white undershirt which was tinted red from the road rash she had received from the gravelly texture of the ground in the training courtyard. The injured shoulder had already been bandaged and now the doctor was poking around the back of Azula’s head. 

“You can stop prodding me now. We’ve established that it hurts if you do that,” Azula slurred grumpily.

“I’ll prod until you admit pain, princess. Katara, could you heal the cut there, please.” Katara moved closer to heal but as she did so, she noticed Azula’s arms which were covered in open friction burns and bruises from the latest incident but also a fresh set of 4 burns that all looked like finger indents. When she looked even closer, she could see quite a few very faint scars in the same pattern dotted all over Azula’s arms. It wasn’t very hard to deduce where they came from.

She quickly looked up to Dr Tokumei who froze once he realised what Katara was looking at. She raised an eyebrow and he shook his head, signalling that maybe it would be more prudent to heal Azula, rather than ask her difficult questions.

“I think that you have sustained a fairly mild concussion, princess,” Dr Tokumei stated, flicking his eyes back over to Azula while looking into her eye. “Right what’s next,” he continued, pulling up the vest to reveal a set of very bruised ribs with large abrasions covering her right side. “That looks painful. Is it painful, princess? Or do I need to do more prodding?”

“Yes, it’s painful, Dr Tokumei,” Azula grumbled.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it now, Princess?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“So you’ve told me before. Many times,” Dr Tokumei laughed as Katara started to heal the ribs as best she could. Azula looked on with fascination as the glowing water closed up cuts and made some of the less serious abrasions disappear.

“I think two of your ribs have cracked a bit so I can’t do anything about that, but I can lessen the bruising and swelling,” Katara told Azula as glowing water rested on her ribs, trying to keep her worried gaze from resting on Princess’ arms. 

Soon enough they were done and Azula was wrapped in bandages all over to protect the still open wounds from infection. She was settled on the bed, dressed in loose, red clothes and was setting up a game of Pai Sho which she was about to play with the doctor to keep her awake. Her shoulder with the burn was kept immobilised in a sling to let it heal faster, much to her dismay, which led to Katara looking at the sight of Azula concentrating hard on putting down the pieces with a strange feeling of… well it wasn’t friendliness but along the lines of understanding perhaps. 

The Azula she saw right then wasn’t evil or even a bad person necessarily (though a good person might be taking it too far) and this was the most unthreatening that she had ever seen her. Katara was starting to form some new opinions about the princess, turning them over in her mind as she left the infirmary.

As soon as the waterbender left, Azula looked up and fixed the doctor with a hard stare. “She saw my arms, didn’t she?” The doctor would have been surprised at the girl’s astuteness with a concussion had it been anyone but Azula.

“Yes, I think so, princess. But Master Katara has enough sense to keep her mouth shut, I should think.”

Azula frowned but took Dr Tokumei’s word for it. “Shall we play?” she asked, gesturing to the Pai Sho pieces laid out on the table.

“Of course, princess,” Dr Tokumei replied with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see the type of injuries that Azula got in this one, look up road rash and lightning burns if you're okay with gross stuff. It's lucky that Katara was there, isn't it?


	7. Can We Talk? No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula and Kiyi spend some quality time together (with supervision, though).

Azula spent the rest of the morning in the infirmary but was finally released just in time for the midday meal. She reached the sliding door and was met with a round of greetings and then some sort of surprised sound when they got a proper look at her injuries. 

She sat down and the table broke into conversation again as they ate. Azula could only bring herself to eat a little since she was still feeling chunderous from her blow to the head; concussions were so much worse with only one eye. It heightened the dizziness and the gaping darkness that surrounded one side of her vision seemed to melt into the rest of her eyesight. It was a very nauseating experience.

Azula felt a small hand tug on her sleeve and startled but quickly calmed down once she realised it was just Kiyi tapping her from her blind spot to get her attention. “Azula? Can you watch me do my firebending after lunch?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Please?

“No.”

“Please?”

“You’re going to keep annoying until I agree, aren’t you?” Kiyi nodded her head. “Fine.”  
Kiyi squealed so loudly that Azula thought that she had burst an eardrum. “Thank you, Azula!” Then the small girl flung her tiny arms around Azula, not caring for the many bandages that her older sister was wrapped in. A bolt of pain shot up Azula’s arm but she ignored it, in favour of desperately trying to quell her rising anxiety as Kiyi didn’t seem to want to let go. This was the first hug she had received in… well she didn’t know how long. She didn’t really know what to do.

Azula was sitting, back straight, muscles tensed with Kiyi still hugging her. She looked over at Ty Lee and Zuko who were desperately stifling giggles and Mai who managed to look amused. Kiyi abruptly moved, jostling Azula’s sling and pulling the burn. “Are you done now?” Azula asked Kiyi awkwardly.

“Yep! Come on, let’s go!” Kiyi jumped up and dragged Azula by her sleeve. 

“Do you have a volume that doesn’t pierce my skull?”

“No!” she practically shouted in an excited tone.

“Is anyone okay with keeping an eye on them to make sure that Azula doesn’t do any bending while she’s supposed to be taking it easy?” Zuko asked, glancing between Azula and Kiyi. What he didn’t say was that it would also be preferable to have someone keeping an eye on Azula at all times but he didn’t want to verbalise that thought in case he met one or more of his sisters’ wrath. 

“I’ve finished eating so I can go,” Katara offered, wanting to catch the Princess alone to talk to her so she hurried after Kiyi who was dragging her sister along, much to Azula’s distaste.

***

Kiyi dragged her sister to the training ground and started warming up, just like Azula taught her to. Azula stood to the side of her, examining her form and giving minor corrections where it was needed while Katara sat on the stone steps, watching them with curiosity. Kiyi seemed to be doing water bending movements in a slow and fluid exercise which was very unlike how firebending movements often were. 

“Are those water bending moves, Kiyi?”

“Yep. Azula taught them to me. It’s different from the fire bending moves Sifu taught me because they’re all flowy,” Kiyi said with her usual high-octane energy.

“How did you learn water bending moves?” Katara directed her question towards Azula. “I thought the Fire Nation was against… you know… other cultures.”

Azula gave a short chuckle in response. “Yes, generally the Fire Nation has the superiority complex of all superiority complexes but I’ve always tried to be adaptable - it’s how I survived so long during Ozai’s reign,” she smiled as she corrected Kiyi, moving her fist a little to the right. 

“But who taught you?”

“None of your business.”

“Oh come on, I’m just curious. There’s no need to be rude.”

“Fine,” Azula huffed, disgruntled at the fact that her manners had been called into question. “I was staying at a farm where I was recovering after my last infection so I was deathly thin, had no strength whatsoever and I was getting very frustrated that I couldn’t do everything that I used to be able to do. I was definitely an even more miserable person to be around than normal but a farm hand took pity on me. He was a water bender with a father from one of the tribes and a mother from the Fire Nation - he didn’t know the exact circumstances of his birth since it was very scandalous, as you can imagine. He had been hiding his gift but deemed me worthy of trust for some inexplicable reason and he taught me some movements to build my strength back up. I actually found it agreeable and he kept on teaching me. He had only learnt from a scroll so the accuracy of my form probably wasn’t the best but by the time I was strong enough to move on, I had gotten myself into a routine.” She shrugged, ignoring Katara’s dumbfounded expression at the new information.

“You met a Fire Nation waterbender?

“Yes, I imagine that there must be a handful in the archipelago. Firelord Zuzu really should do a census after he makes it clear that they won’t be executed and their lives will be protected. I’m sure you could train some of them if you wished?”

Katara still looked absolutely flabbergasted and muttered something under her breath about having to go and talk to Zuko later.

“Azula!” Kiyi shouted as she finished warming up. “Can I show you my new kata?” Azula nodded in reply and Kiyi backed away slightly to make room. She ran and leapt into several punches and kicks before landing back in horse stance, although she stumbled a bit.

“Not bad, Kiyi,” Azula complimented with a small smile. “If you keep your weight a little more even and centred over your feet on your last kick, you should be able to land and not have to shift to keep yourself from falling over.”

They worked on the kata for a little while until Azula noticed that Kiyi had started flagging but didn’t want to admit she was tired. Nothing productive would be done if Kiyi was too tired to work properly. “Let’s stop now. You’ve worked well enough for today.”

Kiyi nodded and slumped on the ground. “I know you're not supposed to fire bend but can’t you just show me one small trick? Please?” Kiyi pleaded, using her very best baby flying bison eyes to try and persuade her sister.

“Nope. You are not using any firebending,” Katara said firmly as she noticed Azula’s resolve lessen.

“I know one where I only have to use one hand,” Azula said. “I promise I will take the blame if Dr Tokumei finds out. On my honour.”

Katara considered the request in her mind for a moment. “Fine. But take it easy - the doctor scares me more than is rational.”

Azula smiled and held up her hand, emitting a small flame that started to swell into a glowing orb. Suddenly, she flicked her fingers, sending the orb forward and as it left her hand, it transformed into the shape of a dragon. The ethereal blue beast flew around the courtyard in smooth swirling motions that entranced Kiyi and Katara who watched in awe. Azula flicked her hand again and the dragon trailed off into nothing, disappearing into a flutter of delicate sparks. She ignored the one or two black spots that decided to creep into the edges of her vision as was definitely completely sensible.

“Wow! Can you teach me how to do that?” Kiyi exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly.

“Maybe one day.”

“I’m going to be the best firebender in the world!” Kiyi shouted as she ran back inside. 

Azula turned to follow her sister when Katara spoke. “Can we talk?”

“No.”

“Don’t be like that. Please? Come and sit down?”

Azula groaned but still sat down next to Katara on the stone steps. “I know what you want to talk to me about but I’ve already spoken to Dr Tokumei and I am really not interested in talking about my feelings.”

“Yeah, you don’t really strike me as the type who likes talking about mushy stuff. You’re kind of like your brother in that way.”

“Please don’t compare me to Zuko - that’s deeply upsetting.”

Katara laughed. “I know what you mean - getting compared to Sokka means that I’ve definitely done something wrong with my life.” There was a pause. “And you are very good at avoiding the subject.” Azula groaned again. “Look, you don’t have to tell me why you... burnt yourself but you should talk to someone else. You need to look after yourself.”

“I do look after myself. Mostly. And I have been burnt enough to last a lifetime,” Azula sighed, gesturing to her face. “I just- I just sometimes lose control but I can deal with it. Just, for the love of Agni, do not tell my brother.”

Katara was surprised by the small amount of emotional vulnerability having expected Azula to attack her once she had asked her nosy questions. “Of course I won’t.” Azula went to stand up but Katara spoke again. “Next time you’re at the palace-”

“I don’t plan on being at the pal-”

“Next time you’re at the palace when I am, I can teach you some more waterbending movements, if you want.”

“Really?” Azula faltered, unsure of what Katara’s motive could be. She studied the waterbender for a second, trying to pick up on any clues on what she could be up to but came up with nothing. “I- I might take you up on that. Why are you all here anyway? Aren’t you all doing your own thing now?”

“Yeah, but we all meet up here every so often to relax and see each other again. It’s a good way to keep in contact.”

“Oh. I apologise for intruding on that.”

“Don’t worry about it - we meet up all the time and this was Kiyi’s fault, not yours. Zuko was the one who practically forced you to stay, anyway. You’re not actually that bad to talk to either since you’re not trying to kill us.”

“Oh. Thank you?”

“You’re welcome. Shall we go back inside?” Azula nodded and followed Katara in.

***

Azula spent the next few days reading in the library (sometimes talking with Sokka if she ran into him), playing Pai Sho with Dr Tokumei, helping Kiyi with her bending and avoiding her mother as much as possible. She also occasionally participated in conversation with the others, feeling a little less uncomfortable after her talk with Katara, but always felt awkward anyway. Aang was also particularly skittish around her and he had good reason to be because of the whole lightning almost killing him in Ba Sing Se thing. Azula always felt a little out of place around the others but she felt that that it couldn’t be helped and so didn’t do anything about it. She liked playing Pai Sho with Dr Tokumei and she definitely didn’t need anyone else anyway.

Azula started to heal up from the accident with the lightning nicely thanks to Dr Tokumei and Katara. Her sling was removed after 3 days and Dr Tokumei said that if she was so desperate to firebend, then she could do some simple katas but it would be her fault if she damaged herself more.

Zuko had given her a rather sheepish apology for ignoring her instructions and almost killing her which she waved off saying, “It’s fine Zuzu. I should have accounted for your incompetence anyway. And it’s not exactly the first time we’ve tried to kill each other.” Zuko walked away feeling bewildered but that wasn’t anything new when it came to Azula.

***

Soon enough, it was the day Azula was due to leave to go back to her home in Uryu. She decided to just wake up and go, not making the effort to say goodbye - that would be too much fuss and she couldn’t be bothered with it.

Azula slipped out of bed even before the sun started to climb its way into the visible sky. She didn’t have any belongings to take back with her so as soon as she was dressed, she made her way out of the palace, slinking in the shadows to avoid guards or any early risers. 

Eventually she breached the palace bounds and was about to start the 10 mile journey home when she heard a cough from behind her. Azula spun around slowly, internally scolding herself for letting someone sneak up on her again: she was getting complacent. 

Her eyes gazed upon the disapproving but slightly amused face of Dr Tokumei. “Hello Dr Tokumei. How are you?”

“Hello Princess. I’m fine, thank you for asking,” he said, with a very strong passive aggressive undertone that Azula couldn’t help but feel insulted by. “You know you’re going to disappoint them if you sneak away like this.”

“I just don’t want the fuss and most of them don’t care anyway.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Princess,” the Doctor sighed wearily. “Look, I’ll let you go in peace if you promise to visit again.”

“Thank you, doctor. I promise I’ll visit again,” Azula said earnestly (though both her and the doctor knew she was lying) and she started to leave when the doctor coughed again.

“Here. Take these. I’ll see you again soon, Princess.” He passed Azula a brown paper bag before he turned around and shuffled back into the palace.

Azula opened the bag and saw a heap of vibrantly coloured mochi. She smiled to herself, glad that the doctor had remembered her favourite treat. Maybe she would visit soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Any comments, kudos or feedback would be very much appreciated, especially if you have any tips on dialogue because I don't know if it's just me but it feels a bit unnatural sometimes.
> 
> If you want to check out some more content, ask any questions or just chat my tumblr is [@glaucuspacificus](https://glaucuspacificus.tumblr.com/) and my discord is GlaucusPacificus#5321. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed. New updates should (hopefully) be every week.


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